Friday, January 27, 2006

Are You A Triple A Personality ?

Do you know what a triple A personality is ? It stands for Astoundingly Astute Asshole ! Or in layman's terms amazing witty dick !

Do people dislike you and ya can't figure out why ? Do you at party's find yourself thinking "I hate these shit-heads" , "These people are fuck'n lame brains" ? Do you have an answer to everyone's problems , even when you don't care or don't think ya know the answer ? Do you have a whole whack of unusable information ? Do you know way to much info on world , celebrity , and personal affairs ? Do you have perfect recall ? Do you have an answer to unanswerable questions ? When lectured at school or work can you repeat verbatim what the person just taught you ? Is "da wife's" nick-name for you , "Asshole" ? Do you have a blog ? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions you are a AAA person !

So ya guessed it ! Da Wallycrawler is a total triple A person ! I'm that guy or gal ! I'm the guy people run away from after 10 min. of meeting him . Unless your drunk or stoned , then I'm your God ! I've had drunk gals and guys say , "Man I always thought you where a dick , man your so f'n cool" ! Then the next day , after sobering up , avoid me like the plague . This is to say ya don't have to be smart to be AAA , [ fuck I'm not that's for sure !] ya just have to be "kind of different" . The way my brain works is waaaay different than other peoples brains work . The only person I can think of who is just like this and most people would know is "Cliff Clavin" of "Cheers" fame [ ya know the TV show in the 80's ]. Just thinking about that character puts shivers down the backs of every normal person . Could you imagine relating to this guy ? I related to him . It's not that he's a bad guy , it's just that he's so fuck'n annoying . The no-it-all fucker . The guy people ask questions of , get the answer from and then roll their eyes . Some of the time it's shear utter crap . Some of the time it's just mind numbing drivel . Most of the time it's right on ! So here's the real problem being this guy . "ALL PEOPLE HATE THE TRUTH" ! Or at least the truth as I know it .

I'm the go too guy at work . I have customers and managers come to me every day to fix their problems or get answers to their projects . I know , at your work too ! Not at the extent it happens to me though . When I give them the answer , they fuck'n hate it ! It's right , but they fuck'n hate it ! The response is " That's not what I was told" , or "Can't I do it this way" ? "Well no you can't , that's not the right way" or "No that's against code" . They hate that reason the most , cause they can't argue against something they don't know about . I can , I'm Triple A ! If you pretend to know something I know about [ everything ] LOOK OUT . Most people who are like that are look'n for the cheap way out . Not with me I'll have buy'n everything in the fuck'n store ! If you fuck with me I'll fuck with you twice as hard , I'm a total asshole ! I can make a house inspector do somersaults and I have ! Customers who have had their plumbing licenses for years come to me for their answers . I don't have a plumbing licence and fucked if I want one . It's just I have total recall for lame fuck'd up shit . Now ask me my friend's wife's name and I'm lost . That's the worst thing about being Triple A , ya just don't care about anyone else . That could be a good thing too , remember I'm AAA ! I'm not bragging this is just some scenarios [ fuck-off ass ] . Why would I brag about plumbing or home improvement ? I hate the shit! It bores me to tears .

Now it comes the time why I wrote this post . I came out to you all because I know , you know I'm an asshole . I came out to help all my AAA friends and family [ it's usually genetic ] . I came out so people like me will come out and embrace your "assholedom" . Please people if you are an asshole come out , come out now . Tell your family and friends [ they already know anyway ] . Tonight before bed look in the mirror and ask yourself am I an AAA ? When you come to terms with it , go to your computer and make a comment in my blog . I can help you ! I will give you guidance with coming to terms to being a asshole . If you know your a no-it-all asshole , here is my best advise "KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT YOU FUCK"N ASSHOLE" ! Enuff said . Good Night My Little Assholes From Da Wallycrawler .

"I know , I know that's not what a real triple A personality is . It a highly intelligent highly organized , highly motivated person . Einstein was a AAA . Give it a brake will ya , it's just a story . Fuck ! What a fuck'n asshole you are" !!!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Mini Me !

Canada Fuck'd Up !

Monday January 23, 2006

Our new Prime Minister Was
Voted In By A Minority Vote .
His First Call Taken After The Vote Was From...
George "Dumba" Bush

I Wonder If Bush Asked Harper If He Would Commit Troops To Iraq ? In 2004 He Promised He Would .

We're Fucked !!!

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Tagged By Crabcake ? Ok Then .

5 Things People Find Weird About Me :

1] I Hate Ice Cream , But Love Milkshakes . [ I'm also allergic to milk so can't have either , so it's a moot point . Never mind ] .

2] I Love To Have Sex With Strange Women . Strange Like Crazy , Not Strange Like Stranger . All My "Friends" Seem To Have A "Quality" Shall We Say . They're All Fuck'd Up With Little Or No Morals . They All Have Criminal Records , Back Tats , Drug And Alcohol Problems , Kids Out Of Wedlock , By Different Fathers ... Enuff Said .

3] I Believe In Redemption , Total And Absolute Redemption , But I Also Believe In The Death Penalty . I Believe If You Kill , You Should Be Killed .
This May Or May Not Be Weird? It Is Kind Of A Oxymoron.

4] I Hate My Job And The People I Work For , But I'm Probably Their Best Salesperson !

5] I Write On A Blog Every Other Day And I Still Can't Spell Worth A Shit ! I Spell Check Everything .

Hey This Is Kind'a Like A Confession Aint It ?

Sa Next Time Wallycrawler .

"Smug Fuck'n Liar" !

Monday January 23,2006
This "Fuck'n "Dick" had this to say :
"Our economy is strong and growing stronger" .

Dumba da stooge also made a promise .
"With rising energy costs" ...we are committed to "Developing new technologies and alternative and renewable fuels" !
"Nice wording Retard" !

To say that this guy is full of shit would be an insult to anyone who eats shit daily !
"Dumba" we have a renewable resource it's called ethanol we've had this "technology since caveman daz" !His whole speech was about small businesses and how he was gonna help them . Good help the farmers who have the answer to your "new technologies" !

The topper to all of this is Ford announced , not a hour before , that it was closing plants and indefinitely laying off 30,000 workers !

So much for your "Strong Economy" !

Still Alive Da Wallycrawler .


Hey hey I'm alive !
Didn't think I'd make it to the other side .
Here to stay I'm alive [Didn't think I'd make it].

Hey hey I survived !
It's a brand new day.
And I feel fine .

Here to say I'm alive [It's here you got to take it] !

Jon Bon Jovi .

For the record I hate Bon Jovi !
Sa Later ...Da Wallycrawler

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Opperation .


Tomorrow I go in for some minor facial surgery . Noth'n much I just found a bump around my temple . It turned out to be a tumor . It's not cancerous so this operation is purely cosmetic .

So I thought who needs cosmetic surgery or who had way too much plastic surgery ?

Here we GO !!!

"Girl you's needs da Star Jones treatment" !
A tummy tuck and stomach stapling !!!

Oueen Latifah
"Did Somethin" ?

"I think I'm gonna vomit" !

I loved her in 'Sideways' though !

Sandra Oh
"Good Actor"

"Seal is so ugly , he looks like his face was on fire
and somebody put it out with a shovel" !

"I hear he has a large pee pee" !

"Thy lord givth and thy Lord taketh away" !

Seal & Wife Heidi Klum
"Singer & Face"

"Remember when she was hot" ?

"I'm not that old ether" ?

Jessica Lange
"Was In King Kong Flop" !


"Fabric has never stretched so thin" !

Mariah Carey
"Desperate Diva"

"Who did her make-up" ?

"She looks like a transvestite" .

"Sweet transvestite , from Transylvaniaaaaa ah ah" !

Anne Hathaway
"Emily Enchanted"


"I'm ready for my close-up Mr. deMille" !

"Someone please stop her before she cuts
her face off" !

Renee Zellweger
"Famous Personality or Somthin" ?

"Before or after surgery , it just goes ta show ya , ya can't fix BONE UGLY" !

Cynthia Nixon
"Out There Now" !

"John Revloting" !

"This guy looks crazed" .

"His weave makes David Lee Roth's look natural" !

Joaquin Phoenix John Travolta
"Great Actor"! "Dim-Wit Scientologist"!

"This guy is way to good look'n" !

"Ya know what I mean" ?

"Da Wallycrawler is jealous" !

Terrence Howard
"Hot New Star"!


"Man'o'man" ! "Ruff Ruff" !
"Des chick needs some surgery" !

My wife is mad cause she kind'a looks looks her !!!

Sarah Jessica Parker
"Sex & Da City Star & Ego Maniac"!


Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Fluff .

So Far Scarlet Wins For Best Dress .

"I Understand It was Very Nipplly Out That Evening" !

"Hottest Star Recently Separated From A Gay Man" ?

Hilary Skank ...I mean Swank , Sorry !

"Me Bad" !

"Pssst, Can You Believe They Gave Us An Award For That Shit" ?

"I Can't Believe My Sutures
Held Up" !

One Word " Explode" !
Enuff Said .

"Who Am I Again" ?

"Oh Yeah" ! "A Has Been" !

"I Don't Think Anyone Noticed That I'm Wearing Curtains" .

Matter Of Fact Nobody Noticed You At All Honey !

"Why Oh Why Does Everyone Hate Me" ?

Cause Your A Phony F'n Bitch Sweetie !

"MAN" ! "If I Was Rich & Famous , With A Much Larger Dick , And With A Better Personality" . "Oh Ya Smarter , Way Smarter . I'd Give It To One Of Des Chicks" ! "Maybe" .

"I'm Such A Loser" !!!

One Last Look At Those ...
That Dress !

Monday, January 16, 2006

Will Wallycrawler Get Thrown Off Blogger ?


Seems Suzie Contacted Blogger She Claims I have Been Harassing Her ?

Free Speech Is Harassing ? OK!

Does This Comment Sound Harassing ? If So I'll Stop . But If You Think She's Liar Tell Me . I Have Never Sent Her An Harassing Comment , The Last One I Even Agreed With Her !

Assorted Babble Is Just That !!!

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Crime Is Commerce.

Crime is associated with evil ! I think that's so , but I also think crime is commerce . Here in Toronto and the GTA [Greater Toronto Area] shootings have become commonplace . On Boxing Day , Dec. 26th. , we have large sales and people line up outside stores all day for some of the bargains . On the last Boxing Day something tragic happened in Toronto , a little girl was shot to death lining up to buy some clothes for school . Many others were also injured . The killers or killer have not been charged . What was the reason for this senseless act ...Drugs , Money , Power ! These acts don't only happen in Toronto , I know this is happening where you live too . I bet we all have thousands of stories , all with the same results , innocent people , mostly children , dead .

What was the response from the police ? Well the cops want more money . Like that's gonna help ! "We need more police on the street to combat crime " ! Bullshit !!!!! Da government's response ? "We need more laws to outlaw hand guns " ! Fuck'n Bullshit !!!!!!

What we need is JOBS ! What we need is EDUCATION ! What we need is a HIGHER WORK ETHIC ! What we need is TEACHERS WHO GIVE A FUCK ! What we need is MORE SOCIAL ASSISTANCE ! What we need is Mothers and Fathers to take responsibility for THEIR CHILDREN ! What we need is MORE MONEY for the working poor ! What we need is THE PUNISHMENT TO FIT THE CRIME ! What we need is to LEGALIZE DRUGS ! What we need is , HONESTY ! What we need is A FUTURE !!!

If the only way for young black kids [ ya I said it " BLACK KIDS" ]to make a living is to sell drugs , guess what ?
"Don't think so hard" ! If the only way out of poverty is killing , guess what ? If the only way a kid from the streets can drive a new 300 is Ho'n , guess fuck'n what ?

Children grow up think'n "what am i gonna be" ? All kids think that way , I did , so did you . All children imitate what they see it's a part of learning . They also learn from figures , father , mother , brother , teacher , etc... If their mentor is a drug dealer or a prostitute what's their future ? "Don't think so hard" ! Part of dealing is area . Question ? : If Johnny's area has 20 crack dealers and Johnny needs to buy his mother some smack , and Johnny has 15 rocks , how many crack dealers does Johnny need to kill to make enough money for a gram of black tar ? That's a tough question , but not for a kid in the hood ! The answer is ..."Alofem" ! You see Johnny doesn't care ! He doesn't care about them , or about you , maybe even his mother . But most of all , Johnny doesn't care about himself ! He has no self worth and no integrity . It hasn't been taught these things because nobody around him have them . Plus Johnny thinks he has no future . He will never say it but Johnny's thinks he's worthless . You know what ? He may be right ! Hey , he could be lucky , like his dad. His dad killed enough dealers that he took over the neighbourhood ?" He could be king like dad man" ! At lest for a while . Until some other young , strong , dude steps up and kills him . Just like old pops . When that little girl was shot that Thug was trained . Like a Doctor or Lawyer a Thug is trained . He is taught a Thugs life of , not caring , watch out for the other guy , kill first or you'll be killed , survival of the fittest or craziest . That Thug was trained for that moment when he pulled the trigger and ended that innocent life . You know what ? He doesn't care ! He wasn't taught to care and he will probably never care . Even when he says he cares . He's lost ! His life should end . That's the harsh reality . We must make the punishment fit the crime . "Sorry Johnny Your Dead" !

The only way to change all of this is to change our way of thinking about society . Crime isn't faceless or random there is always a reason . MONEY ! "If I got none , how do you get some "? The easy solution ? Sell ! Sell your body , sell drugs , sell your soul . If you think you don't have one [ soul ] that's a very easy trade . Sex & Drugs are fun , let's face it , they're f'n fun to do ! That's why we do them ! That being said what is the easiest sell besides yourself ? "Drugs baby drugs" ! They're all around us and they are the easiest sell , they're the answer to all of our questions . Even when you don't have a question or a quest ! "Remember when you got all fucked up and George fucked you up the ass "? " No" ?" Neither does George" !" That was fun though" ! I know that didn't hap'n to you but we all know people that it did hap'n to . Always a good time , everybody has a story or two or three . Sometimes the stories get old , sometimes they come to often . That happens . Most of us get out of it or never get a habit . Some don't . When they don't the cycle of crime is about to commence . That addict will soon steal from friends and family , steal from work . steal from stores , steal from other dealers and if they don't get help , die . Die ugly ! A very grisly death ! We all know a few . Some were compatriots some were not . I love when these social scientists or therapists come on TV , "These young people have nothing to live for that's why they do drugs " ! Bullshit !!! If that were a fact the rich and the famous wouldn't do them it would be a 'class' problem . It's not ! It effects every walk of life no matter how much money , fame or success we have . We have to face the fact that drugs are fun ! That they will always be fun ! On a short term bases . Almost every young kid will try drugs [and every adult] . What we all must do after they try drugs is to teach them moderation. We moderate alcohol don't we ? Some don't , almost all do though . This is hard but not impossible . We must legalize all drugs , we must make them tax worthy . Making drugs a commodity is a pretty bold statement and a lot of you will disagree , but here me out . To make drugs legal would create jobs [ Hey Wally always with the jobs ! ] increase our services taxes to spend on infrastructure and education , eliminate drug crime [Ala prohibition] , make our streets safe again , make drugs safer to do and less chance of sickness of overdosing , and so on... "This all sounds so rosy Wally" ! It's not it's commerce and that is why that little girl died in a hail of gun fire . Commerce has it's victims but not like that little girl . That crime and crimes of they're vain will fade away . Here's a scenario . If that girl didn't get shot and she grew up , there is a 90% chance she would have tried illegal drugs of some form . The very thing she was killed over she might have done . That's a sick way of looking at this issue , but it's the truth . We have to see our future and if our future is living in fear because of a social issue , lets change society . Let's kill all forms of racism , let's clean up our neighbourhoods , let's educate every man , woman and child , let's police ourselves , LETS LEGALIZE DRUGS ! Sa Again Wallycrawler .

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Suzie : A Very Confused Women !

Something I Left On Assorted Babble .
I Guarantee You It's Not There For Long !
Suzie Deletes My Comments As Soon As I Post Them !

Blown up here .

It's not the best comment but it's the point .
The Far Right is afraid to hear the truth or even
confront someone of different views .
It's her prerogative . It's just so childish .
Personally I love the negative view points .
I love to banter !

Monday, January 09, 2006

LOoK wHo'S AlL gROws uP !




She has a great look ! Amazing !

Friday, January 06, 2006


OK , I'm always pissed but more so today . You know why ? I'm sick , I've got a cold and flu , it's the second time in less than a month I've been sick . This makes me ornery . At the best of times I'm a prick , so when I'm sick look out , I'll bite your head off . Anyhoo... when Wally's sick he watches way to much TV and he reads a lot of news papers . Check that , he reads a lot of news paper services , online . Scope'n out the sport services , I come across a story about a group of "Sport Scientists" !??? "Sport Scientists" . " This has gotta be a plant story" ! A Reuters report so you know it's questionable . What's the 'Most Exciting' Sport ? I start read'n and it seems English Soccer [ or as the Brit's call it 'Cricket' ] is the 'Most Exciting' sport . Soccer , soccer , English soccer ...? Ok then , what's the second 'MOST EXCITING' sport ? American [or what the Yank's call it 'Nap-time'] baseball ? "I'm excited" !!! Do these people watch sports ? Don't get me wrong soccer 's OK and so's baseball but they're like watching paint dry . They're not exciting ! Good sports , and they take a great deal of athletic ability but excitement isn't much of a part of ether sport . Where's Aussie Rules Football ? Where's Hurling ? Where's Rugby ? Where's Sex ? "Just kid'n" . Where's World Class Hockey ? Where's the NFL ? OK what's third on their 'LIST' ? NBA ...NBA..? Basketball , B-Ball ? I think I would like to strangle these retards . It's probably the Neo Citren talk'n but I hate these assholes , why are they fuck'n pushing my buttons today ? Did these guys actually get a grant to do this study ? If so who the fuck gave these dicks money ? AIDS , Homelessness , World Hunger ,'Sport Scientists' . "I pick to give money too... Da 'Sport scientists' ". "Ya that's it , that happened " . You know what pisses me off ? It's that this such a plant story , this is a story put out there by , I dunno maybe 'English Soccer League' , I dunno but somebody !!! OK , OK , Ok... I'm finished with this "report" , and I know what your think'n . "Wally what is the most 'Exciting Sports' in da world" ? I hear ya and I have a list here .
Here is the Da Wallycrawler's 'Most Exciting' sports 1 thru 5 . "I'm so fuck'n bored today" !

1] World Class Hockey : Olympics , World Cup , Junior . Doesn't matter as long as it has Country vs. Country . The hitting , the action , the speed ! This is the hardest game in the word to learn . Don't believe me , try skating . If you don't know how . "shut up" ! Now try skating and shooting a puck [ you'll look retarded if you try ] . Now try skating shooting a puck and I hit you with full body weight , I'm not huge 190lbs , but I guarantee you your down and hurting . There's nothing better than watching pros kick the shit out of each other just for bragging rights . No money , just pride . The true essence of sport !

2] Australian Rules Football : I don't know all the rules , but I know one thing there aren't too many rules in it . This game is for "men" , manly men , these guys kick ass . Easily the toughest game out there [ that's including Rugby ] and fast ! Hardly any time outs , full bore , all out action . Great sport ! I wish I played it in my youth !

3] N.F.L. Football : Week in , week out , these guys play the most brutal sport ever invented . I know some Brits think Rugby is brutal but it's nowhere near American Football . The shear size of these men dwarf rugby stars . The speed of these stars is far and away better than any other sport . "But rugby players don't wear equipment" . Bullshit ! If these guys started to play rugby in college I don't think the 'All Blacks' would be quite as successful . "They would eat them alive" !These guys are world class athletes that can play any sport . Track stars , baseball stars , basketball stars . They play this game for pride at high school and it becomes a religion . Easily the most controlled game by a coach , a total mind game . It's a battle field out there and the coach is the general calling every play . If you don't get the N.F.L. you probably watch golf .

4] Rugby or "Rugger" : This game has it all speed , no time outs , size , massive crowds . If there was a game that was shire balls out crazy this is it . I played this game in high school and I always came home , hurt'n . Watch'n the 'All Blacks' or English league is way more exciting than watching some lame soccer game [not that I have anything against 'cricket' , it's just not for me sorry].

5] X Games : This combination sport is the "now" and the "future" of sports in the world . From Skating [ Blading ] , Snow Boarding , Skateboarding , Trick Bikes & Motorcycles : makes it a traveling circus of extreme excitement . If you think of Tony Hawk what do ya think ? "Skateboarding" , right ? Well how about attitude , what do you think of ? "X Gamers" ! They have "da Tude" , da chicks , da music , the greatest event out there bar none . If you ever get a chance to see a Xgame event near you , GO ! Bring your kids , it's all right . These guys and gals are consummate performers . They go all out every day , every night . If I was truly honest the XGames are really the most exciting sports event out there . "But I still Love Hockey" !

footnote : For all you guys who like Baseball . I like Baseball I played it all my life but it;s not a game of great excitement . It has it's moments . Joe Carter hitting a homer in the bottom of the ninth to win the series comes to mind . Mostly it's a game to watch at a bar while your pick'n up chicks . You don't have to keep your mind on it all the time . Even when your playing your standing around or sitting around . That's just the game , don't get mad .For all you soccer fans don't get your balls in a knot I know the Brits don't call soccer 'cricket' they call it 'GOON TIME' feel better ?

Thursday, January 05, 2006

"Ya Ok I'm A Homer" !


The Greatest Hockey Nation In The World !


Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Wallycrawler's 1st. Annual Slut'O'Da Year . "2005"

And The Nominees Are :

Angelina Jolie .
"The Human Vacuum"

Tara Reid .

"The Party Girl"?

Mariah Carey .
"The Dozzy Diva".

Courtney Love .
"The Fuck Up".

Pam Anderson.
"The PETA Hypocrite"

Paris Hilton.
"The Stank Skank".



For being the "Ditch Piggiest" of da "Ditch Pigs".
For keeping your messy pussy in the limelight .
For leaking a tape of you and a nimrod having sex.
For being in the "TOP 100" richest families in the world .
For hiring a publicist for your every movement or event .
For being the least talented of all the "Cause Celeb".
For lying and cheating on every person who was ever close to you .