Friday, May 26, 2006

There's Not To Many Times I'm Serious...


But this is one of them !

I'd like to talk to you about my daughter . She's a bright young beautiful young girl . Last year she cut all her hair off for children with cancer . Two years ago , last January , she was diagnosed with diabetes . Type 1 , some people call juvenile diabetes . She tests her blood six to eight times a day and has three or four shots , of three types of insulin a day . She takes insulin to maintain her blood sugar levels the blood test tell us how much insulin she needs and how much carbohydrates she needs to eat . My daughter needs to be on a strict diet , we need to read every label to regulate her carbohydrates intake . We must do this six times a day . She must eat everyday at the same time of day and the same amount of carbohydrates every time each day . The reason we must do this is she can go screaming high on her blood sugar and end up in the hospital in a coma , or her blood sugar could go straight down and she would go into a coma ."Does that sound confusing" ? It is ! But we maintain it everyday of our lives . I say "we" because it's a family event not just "hers" . She does most of this herself now , she's nine . My wife and myself must check her insulin and her diet , but she's doing it herself . She rarely screws up ! She also wants no one to feel sorry for her . So please , if your going to comment don't leave condolences . This year my daughter was chosen as an ambassador for the "JDRF walk" in our area . You wouldn't believe her . She stands up in auditoriums and gives speeches about her inflection . She is an amazing public speaker , absolutely no fear . She had presidents of very large corporations in aw and lined up to meet her after her speech . Did I say I'm proud of her ? I am , we are , our whole family is !

When she was diagnosed two and a half years ago , she cried once and that was it ! She never feels sorry for herself , she just deals with it . My wife and I have worries , especially about her long term illness . Will she maintain this rosy outlook or will she rebel and go off her diet . If that happens she could have major repercussions . Heart diseases, liver failure , kidney failure , stroke , loss of limbs ...Endless repercussions !

OK all of that aside . Now the reason I'm writing this piece "out of character" . Things are happening . "new" developments in a cure for diabetes . Stem cells seem to be one answer (Thanks George Bush , for nothing !) also in artificial pancreases... A number of good developments...GREAT ! Here's the catch . We need money...Still there ? Really everybody needs money . But Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation , is a good cause .With a cure for diabetes we can stop 1) A lot of heart related deaths , 2) Needless operations , 3) and most importantly...Children suffering from this disease !

This mouth and in the month of June there will be organized "JDRF walks" around your area . Please participate or please donate to these walks . It will be highly appreciated . Thank You .

Or just click on the link below .

p.s. I would love to show everyone a picture of my daughter , my amenity prevents it , sorry !

Thursday, May 25, 2006

What's On Sirius II ?

Howard Stern Apologises About His Comments To Natalie Maines and The Dixie Chicks . Howard Admitted He Was Wrong To Attack Her And The Chicks . Howard Was Initially For The Invasion Of Iraq . He Changed His Mind A Year After The Invasion . Tells Natalie She Has Great Courage To Speak Her Mind And Not Back Down To Pressure . She Was A Big Fan Of The Show And Was Hurt By Sterns Comments . She Also Said They Don't Get Regular Radio Play In America Because Of Their Stand On The War . Howard Stated That He Was Fired By Clear Channel After His Statements Against Iraq War . Tells Them "You Were Right And Most Of America Was Wrong" .

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

What's On Sirius?

Rob Zombie Is On Stern This Morning :

Monday, May 22, 2006

Re Hash : Through The Eyes Of A Stranger .

For The Rest Of The Summer I Will Be Rehashing Some Of My Older Posts . Hopefully Most Of You Will Like Them . For Those Who Have Already Read Them , Sorry ! For Those Who Haven't I Hope You Will Enjoy ! I Will Be Posting Some "NEW" Posts Also . Just Not As Regular .

This Event Has Stayed With Me And Probably Will Stay With Me For The Rest Of My Life !

Some people say the best part of a vacation is coming home . "I dunno about dat I think I could have stayed another week "! Sun , surf and sand . What about that beautiful view "amazing" . Unless you leave the compound ! Then the view gets mighty bleak .
Our family went to the Dominican Republic this past week the hotel , the beach , the food , everything was great. Everything except the poverty ! This was the first time I've been to the Dominican but not the first time in the Caribbean and I've never seen sights like these . First I would like to say the people there are great , nice , hard working and have good family values . How do I know ? I talked to them . I found out most people who work , work in the service industry [ so please don't stop going there it could be worse ] others get by in less scrupulous dealings . Most of their teachers come from other country's but almost all children don't finish or even start school . Some of the lucky and talented kids get to go to art school but most become hotel staff or drivers [ drivers is a the only word I could think of ironically nobody on that island can drive ! If you have been there you know what I mean . "CRAZY" ! ] . Anyhoo... the wife and I decided to go on a couple of excursions . One was to take a catamaran cruise and snorkel with sharks and sting rays . If you ever get a chance to do this , do it ! My daughter had no fear out in the middle of the ocean swimming with nurse sharks , "she's nine" , brave little girl . We all had fun on that one . The other trip was a shopping excursion or was supposed to be a shopping trip . "What a fuck-up" ! First the van was late [ I know Caribbean time ] when he got there the van was a piece of shit Toyota half falling apart . I looked at wifey and said "ya gotta be kidd'n rite" ! " Wally I want to go shopping and get Christmas presents " . I'm like " Ahhh RRRR " ! Wifey looks at me " look you snob get in that bus 'NOW' "! " Besides we paid $70.00 and it's non refundable " " What da fuck ya talk'n about 70 bucks to buy trinkets " ? " Your fuck'n crazy "! Now guys who are married knows what comes next , you get on the bus . I figured eh " it's gonna rain anyhoo " . Sure ! And off we go . After about a hour we stop " nows peoples wes stop hears tos picks-up others peoples " our Guide mumbled . "Wa da fuck ya talk'n about , get me off dis bus now my f'n back is kill'n me " " Yous ca gets out and walks arounds" . " Thanx" ! As soon as I get out of the bus the smell hits me , waste , human waste , that smell is unmistakable . A little boy comes up to me " Mister , Mister I'm very hungry , very hungry " . I looked at his shoe box full of pop . " Mister do you want a drink " ? I dunno about you but I wasn't , nore will I be , that thirsty . I reached into my pocket and pulled out 5 bucks and gave it to him . " Ahh no pop thanx " . " Where am I " ? He told me the name of the village but I forgot what it was all I know it was poor , very poor . " Hey kid you want a job as a guide you speak better than ours " ! " He smiled and laughed he got the joke . This kids pretty bright , fuck did he get a rotten break . Just as I was gonna ask him about the area the guide chases the kid off " Vamos beggers " ! A half hour latter another piece'o'shit van pulls up and out pops eighteen very large black women . I look at wifey " Ya gotta be kidd'n rite " . " There's no way they'er gonna fit on this piece'o'shit " . " Shut The Fuck Up , they'll hear you " . " Sit Down And Shut The Fuck Up" ! My wife has a way of looking at things , a way most don't , she has real spiritual feeling sometimes . This was one of them , she said "We're here for a reason keep your mouth shut and learn a little " . I didn't get it at all . All I knew was these women couldn't get down the aisle . "Yous with di hat , Roots hat get up , moves ta do seat back " I think the guide was talk'n to me I look to the seat behind me and a large black women is sitting there and there wasn't much of a seat left maybe 4" . Ahhh Fuck , this sucks !!! I sit on my 4" piece of cushion and force a smile at the older lady. She smiles back " Honey you really got the short end of the stick today didn't you Mmmhhm" as she pushes her ass against the wall of the bus to make room for me . Her smile was real and not forced . I look over at the wife and she shoots me a look like don't say anything stupid you asshole . I look into her eyes and say " I'm Wally " . " Well nice to meet you Wally sorry I can't get over any further but as you can see I'm not a small person " . " Hey everyone Aida has a friend , son you're in for it , you are " the lady in the next seat piped up. " Oooooh Ha ha oooo !" the hole bus erupts with laughter . I didn't know if I should laugh or cry . " I'm Aida and this is all my sisters from our University's graduation class " . " This is our forty eight..." " Aida shuts you mouth it's our twentieth anniversary "one of the ladies yells. They all start laughing and off we go ...Again . About an hour down the road Aida and I are getting to know each other I've flirted with her and I've told a couple of off color jokes . Aida laughs at every joke with great vigor . She has a fantastic sense of humor with a great laugh , full of highs and lows . Aida told me all about her traveling adventures with some of the ladies . One stuck out though , when she went to China . Seems the Chinese don't see to many black people especially well endowed ones . The men would walk right up to her and stare right at her large bosoms . They would point at them and talk to their friends while looking down her top . That's f'n funny ! We are looking out the window at the sights , laughing and just as we come into the sugar cane fields I see a sight I've never seen before [ at least not in person ] ' real absolute poverty ' . Ran-shackled huts with no walls steel roofs , sugar cane and mud everywhere . The people are looking at us with downward eyes . I blurt out " Holly Shit My God " ! "Wa da fuck is this " ? Aida looks at me " LIFE" ! " Life for them" . " I look at that little girl over there and I see myself , I see myself as a child ". " Your kidd'n right it couldn't be that bad where you grew up "? " Child when I grew up we were segregated outside of Memphis , we had nothing " . " Yup when I look at dat child I see me " ! " You went to University, how could you afford the tuition " ? " My mother cleaned houses and did white peoples laundry" . " She worked very hard for me , also tuition's weren't that high then . I also borrowed from family and friends ". " Everyone chipped in for me to get an education " . I felt like shit . I blew my education when I quit school and left hockey . I didn't want to say I always had it easy . That I had schools after me to play hockey for them and I more or less told them to fuck-off . I was thinking I could have had a free ride through school just because I could stop a puck but I was to lazy , unmotivated , spoiled. As we drove through the sugar cane Aida told me about all the girls on the bus , how they are all doctors , social workers , lawyers , pharmacists ... all very successful women in their fields . Aida's field was school teacher for troubled children . Aida now lives in Los Angele's near Compton . If you don't know about Compton let's just say it's not Beverley Hills 90210 . I was about to ask why she moved to that area of the country when it dawned on my small brain , she moved there to give back . She could have gone anywhere but she picked a hard-luck area to help where it needed it most . OK now I know this is not your average woman . It took a bit , but now I'm there , now I understand . Aida told me about the south in the 1950's how blacks weren't even third class people that they didn't matter , they were around only to do menial labour . How most blacks who had any land , it was usually stolen with back taxes or sold at a very devalued price . Hood-winked . I guess I knew what the south was about but I never heard about it first-hand . " Yous given that boy a history lesson Aida " ? the woman in the next seat spying over ." No , not really we're just talk'n girl " . She wasn't given me a history lesson she was given me a life lesson I was think'n . The rest of the ride was rather dull except a river or two and a village built to emulate a village in Italy [ that was pretty ] but I couldn't get that sugar cane fields out of my mind and what Aida said . On the way back da wife looked over at me and whispered " How's your girlfriend " ? " Great I think I'm gonna take her on a motorcycle trip to the Grand Canyon " . Aida pipes up " I'm not go'n on any motorcycle and I've already seen the Grand Canyon" . I think Aida's seen more than the Grand Canyon I think she's seen and felt everything life has to offer the good , the bad , and the very ugly . She has reached up grabbed sky , reached down and pulled others up with her . It was a real pleasure meeting , talking , sharing life stories and I'm better for it . As we got off the bus I shook Aida's hand good-bye I felt bad that she wasn't going with us . Aida said " take care " . " Aida the pleasure was all mine ". I looked over at wifey " See I told you we were here for a reason ". " You learned a little something today didn't you " ! Fuck , is that woman ever wrong ? Love Ya Hon Da Wallycrawler .

Thursday, May 18, 2006

I'm Free !


I graduated my m2 license so I can finally drive my new bike .

This is a picture of what my Harley looks like , but mines blue , with

duel disk brakes , duel plugs and a Vance & Hines header exhaust . I

pick it up next Friday . sa Wallycrawler .

Monday, May 15, 2006

Life Lessons and UFO's .

This is a story I've only told a couple of people in my life . I don't even think I have told my wife ? I don't think I should even tell you guys . The people who witnessed this with me , never talk about it when I see them . Two of the people don't remember any of the "incident" .

In July of 1988 I was a big partyer , heavy drinker , and a coke head . A total fuck-up . Funny though I was never more successful financially . I owned a bar and was close to opening another . I was living a bachelors dream . Living in Muskoka Ontario (vacation land of the rich and famous in the summer) , good looking (I was good looking honest) , a good income , and a different woman every night . I loved that lifestyle , but call me crazy I love my life now better . There's no comparison . OK the wife's not looking any more , fuck it was wild . As they say all good things must come to an end and my end was a tax called the GST . It screwed my business over royally . As you might expect I never did plan for a soft period and lived high (more ways than one ) so the "Ole Pub" closed . Just as well the future of the bar business in Canada died the day Brain Mulroney crafted that tax , unless you own a franchise yuppie theme restaurant .

I wanted to tell you where my head was at at that time in my life . I thought about me , and that business , in that order . Nothing else mattered to me . I was a empty piece'o'shit .

After we'd close the bar , some of us , friends and co-workers , would go over to the Gravenhurst "Cliffs" and party . Some nights it would be pretty wild , mild orgies , skinny dipping , lines of white . We wouldn't stop until dawn or the cops showed up . The Police were always great to us . I think they would come just to see what stripper or actress was there with us . One very hot night ten of us went for a late night of carousing at the "Cliffs" . It was a full moon so every thing at the lake was pretty bright , not a cloud in the sky . The night sky was amazing , clear and full , you could see every star in the sky . Off to the north we could see the Northern Lights dancing . For hours we would say to each other "wow did you ever see them this bright" ? Usually they wouldn't show up this well on a bright night . What was really weird was they would shine up past the trees into the sky and dance red, yellow , white and then be gone . And they seemed to be getting closer . I think I said that , a million times to my friend ( I'll call him Peter , cause that's his name) ! "Pete what gives with those lights" ? "Fuck Wally haven't you seen the fuck'n Northern Lights before" ? "Now give me a fuck'n line before I do a dive" ! Peter would do back flips off the cliff . A Twenty Foot Back Flip , "nuts" . He was a good friend and a crazy bastard . He also got the best poon , the fucker . This night we where very lucky , out of the ten of us eight where chicks . Two were transient dancers , two were tourists , the others were regulars (fuck buddies) . The two tourists and myself were into the lights the most , at first I was into the "dancing lights" cause they were into them . One of the tourist girls was a stunningly hot thing , a "major spinner" ( under 5' 2") and game for anything . I was quite smitten . Just as I was getting somewhere with her... Something happened... A bright white light appeared around the point . Not a flash light , a large spot light shining downward from a seemingly empty sky . The light was not moving but fixed with not a sound coming from it . It was pointing right at the edge if the water and small dock . It was like daylight had hit a twenty foot radius of the lake . I ran over to the edge of the cliff to see Pete and the girls treading water and transfixed on the light . "Peter is that a helicopter" ? "No , shut up they'll hear us" ! "Who" ? "I dunno shut the fuck up" ! As soon as he said that ...Nothing , no light...Nothing ! I turned around too see my little blond and she was laying flat on her back passed out , her dark haired friend was also completely passed out right beside her , both naked as jay birds , out cold ! "Peter what the fuck is hap'n here" ? "Pete what gives is it the cops fucken around , Pete" ? ..."Shhh Someones here"? "Where" ? "Down here and the girls are scared shitless" ! "Get the fuck out of the water" ! One of the strippers ran right by me ...ZZZZZAT the lights go up over our heads . The spot is shinning right down at me and the tourist chicks . Peter runs right by me followed by the rest ." Wally come on get out'a there , now" ! I couldn't , I wouldn't . I wouldn't leave them there like that and how did they get like that they were fine a moment ago ..."Bam" I get hit in the head , hard and I'm down . Seconds later the lights go out and the girls wake up asking for their clothes . Fuck my head hurt like a two day hangover . The little blond was complaining about a sore stomach , the dark haired chick picked her up and we made our way back to my parked van. What was funny was I wasn't scared anymore we simply walked back to the vehicle . When we approached the Caravan the windows were all steamed up , I opened the door to see Pete laying in the back of the van with the two strippers ."Hey what gives out there" ? "Fuck Wally where have you been man , I looked all over the place for you man " !" What? Did one of those girls hit me in the head or what" ? "Look man you been gone for over an hour we looked everywhere" . "It's 5 o'clock . You and da girls have been gone for over a hour , where did you go to hide" ? " Hide I didn't hide. Peter if you know what is going on here tell me" . "When the lights changed color you and the girls where gone , we ran back to the car and we heard a commotion coming from the woods . We all jumped in the van just as a bear ran by the front . Then there was shooting all around us ". " A fuck'n bear and shooting are you fuck'n with me" ? "No , after awhile I got my nerve up to go and get you , but you were gone , you and da girls were gone" !
We all got in the van and started to drive back to my place . "Pete where did the others go" ? "They took off with the cops man" . "What fuck'n cops" ? "Wally the cops just left when you appeared" . "Did the cops ask about me" ? "They just said you'd show up, eventually" . "Fuck the police" ! I was sober , I was extremely sober . When we got back to the house we all got fucked up again and got down to it . What is weird about that night was Peter and I never talked about it to anybody for over a month and then only in jest . The two dancers were never seen again , the two tourists we fondled quite regular that summer and they didn't remember any of it . The townie chicks didn't ever bring it up so we wouldn't . So...was it the cops fuck'n with us , Peter mentioned about the light changing color I don't remember any of that , was I just wasted and passed out when I was hit with something . Why did the girls from "out of town" pass out that fast and where the fuck did a hour or so go ? Your guess is as good as mine cause back then my head really wasn't on too straight .

That's my U.F.O. story , lame eh ? The names haven't been added cause I don't remember their names , except Pete .

Psst, I really do remember those girls names I'm just not tell'n cause my old lady would flip ! I can't remember her best friends names . Wally Out !

Friday, May 12, 2006

Just One Question...

Do You Believe In U.F.O.'s ?

I'll Tell You My Answer ...But Later .

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Losers Of Da Week : Brought To You By Your Friendly Neighbourhood Wallycrawler .

David Blaine : The Worst Illusion Ever !
Also Worst Actor Ever !
My Wife Thinks He's Hot ! OK .
His Voice Drives Me Crazy , A Monotone Headache !
David A Word From The Wise Inflect , Inflect !

Shane From Survivor : The Stupidest Game Show
Contestant Ever !
Shane Get A Life And Some Friends !
I Understand You Love Your Child , But You Boarder
On Obsession !

Tom Cruise : 48 Million ? Enuff Said !


Tuesday, May 09, 2006

"King Of Da Assholes" ! <-Asshole <-Asshole <- A Pissed Asshole

I thought I was a huge asshole , but this guy takes the cake !

I hate this fuck'n retard , but ya gotta hand it to him , he never has changed . I guess once an asshole always an asshole .

Friday, May 05, 2006

"Happy Cinco De Mayo Everyone" !

It's Also My Birthday !