I'm Fucked !

I need a little support here .
This week was my 4th wedding anniversary . It was also my wife's birthday . Now you'd think I'd remember those things , considering they also fall on the same date June 29th ? But noooo ! Guess what I forgot ! I woke up on Thursday rolled over and saw my wife standing beside the bed , "Hi honey , happy anniversary" ! " Ahh Ya happy anniy...ah and happy birthday hon..." . She looked into my eyes and gave me a big kiss . That's not all she had a card , for me ! The flop sweat hit me hard ."Hey beautiful I didn't have time to pick-up anything so I'll do it today , K sweetie" ? Have you ever felt a card rifled at you from a pissed off woman ? Believe me it 'smarts' ! Man can that woman swear , oh curses I've never uttered ! But the one she always came back to was "ASSHOLE" !

I get that a lot , from my best friends , to people I barely know . I'm known as the "Asshole" ! I used to take great offense to it , I'd pound the shit out'a anyone who ever spoke that compound word to me ! Now I wear it as a badge . "A Badge Of Honour" !



RE Hash : Are You A Triple 'A' Personality ?


Do you know what a triple A personality is ? It stands for Astoundingly Astute Asshole ! Or in layman's terms amazing witty dick !

Do people dislike you and ya can't figure out why ? Do you at party's find yourself thinking "I hate these shit-heads" , "These people are fuck'n lame brains" ? Do you have an answer to everyone's problems , even when you don't care or don't think ya know the answer ? Do you have a whole whack of unusable information ? Do you know way to much info on world , celebrity , and personal affairs ? Do you have perfect recall ? Do you have an answer to unanswerable questions ? When lectured at school or work can you repeat verbatim what the person just taught you ? Is "da wife's" nick-name for you , "Asshole" ? Do you have a blog ? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions you are a AAA person !

So ya guessed it ! Da Wallycrawler is a total triple A person ! I'm that guy or gal ! I'm the guy people run away from after 10 min. of meeting him . Unless your drunk or stoned , then I'm your God ! I've had drunk gals and guys say , "Man I always thought you where a dick , man your so f'n cool" ! Then the next day , after sobering up , avoid me like the plague . This is to say ya don't have to be smart to be AAA , [ fuck I'm not that's for sure !] ya just have to be "kind of different" . The way my brain works is waaaay different than other peoples brains work . The only person I can think of who is just like this and most people would know is "Cliff Clavin" of "Cheers" fame [ ya know the TV show in the 80's ]. Just thinking about that character puts shivers down the backs of every normal person . Could you imagine relating to this guy ? I related to him . It's not that he's a bad guy , it's just that he's so fuck'n annoying . The no-it-all fucker . The guy people ask questions of , get the answer from and then roll their eyes . Some of the time it's shear utter crap . Some of the time it's just mind numbing drivel . Most of the time it's right on ! So here's the real problem being this guy . "ALL PEOPLE HATE THE TRUTH" ! Or at least the truth as I know it .

I'm the go too guy at work . I have customers and managers come to me every day to fix their problems or get answers to their projects . I know , at your work too ! Not at the extent it happens to me though . When I give them the answer , they fuck'n hate it ! It's right , but they fuck'n hate it ! The response is " That's not what I was told" , or "Can't I do it this way" ? "Well no you can't , that's not the right way" or "No that's against code" . They hate that reason the most , cause they can't argue against something they don't know about . I can , I'm Triple A ! If you pretend to know something I know about [ everything ] LOOK OUT . Most people who are like that are look'n for the cheap way out . Not with me I'll have buy'n everything in the fuck'n store ! If you fuck with me I'll fuck with you twice as hard , I'm a total asshole ! I can make a house inspector do somersaults and I have ! Customers who have had their plumbing licenses for years come to me for their answers . I don't have a plumbing licence and fucked if I want one . It's just I have total recall for lame fuck'd up shit . Now ask me my friend's wife's name and I'm lost . That's the worst thing about being Triple A , ya just don't care about anyone else . That could be a good thing too , remember I'm AAA ! I'm not bragging this is just some scenarios [ fuck-off ass ] . Why would I brag about plumbing or home improvement ? I hate the shit! It bores me to tears .

Now it comes the time why I wrote this post . I came out to you all because I know , you know I'm an asshole . I came out to help all my AAA friends and family [ it's usually genetic ] . I came out so people like me will come out and embrace your "assholedom" . Please people if you are an asshole come out , come out now . Tell your family and friends [ they already know anyway ] . Tonight before bed look in the mirror and ask yourself am I an AAA ? When you come to terms with it , go to your computer and make a comment in my blog . I can help you ! I will give you guidance with coming to terms to being a asshole . If you know your a no-it-all asshole , here is my best advise "KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT YOU FUCK"N ASSHOLE" ! Enuff said . Good Night My Little Assholes From Da Wallycrawler .

"I know , I know that's not what a real triple A personality is . It a highly intelligent highly organized , highly motivated person . Einstein was a AAA . Give it a brake will ya , it's just a story . Fuck ! What a fuck'n asshole you are" !!!



"The Flaming Lips" are for my wife . This song always makes her cry . She kissed me and thanked me !
That's another good thing about being an 'AAA' , You'll always find a way out've it !