Monday, July 10, 2006

Wallycrawler's Must See Movies For 2006

This has been the weakest year I can remember , ever , for quality movies . Of all the films I have seen , only one can I actually say was good .

Hard Candy : The primus of this movie creeped me out a bit , it's a slightly disturbing film at the start . A young girl meets a older man on a Internet chat room and agrees to meet him at a coffee shop . Ya your stomach kind'a drops , but wait this young thing maybe not as innocent as she seems . There is a lot of plot twists in this thriller and should keep you entertained right to the end .

Three : The best movie poster . I haven't seen this B movie yet , but I wanna !

Here's the list of films I want to see this summer :

Leonard Cohen ; I'm Your Man : A documentary on the singer , songwriter , poet , icon , and swordsman .

The Notorious Betty Page : I dunno how "Notorious" Betty Page was , I think she was more of a wreck-lose , than "Notorious" ! If I was renaming this film I'd call it "What Ever Happened To Betty Page ? " Or "The Mystery Of Betty Page " Both better titles , I think . But who cares ? I wanna see this movie about the famous cat fighter and "boner gal" .

America Freedom To Fascism : Another documentary . This one's about the erosion of civil liberties in America since the 1900's .

John Tucker Must Die : Betty Thomas is the most under-rated director in Hollywood . I've read this will be her best comedy . That's high praise from the director of "Private Parts , The Brady Bunch Movie , 28 Days and The Late Shift" .

Snakes On A Plane : OK I'm intrigued ! This is the best marketed movie ever to hit the Internet since "Blair Witch Project" . If all the chatter works and this movie goes through the roof , and it will , look for more marketing through blogs and chat sites .

A Funny Thing : How does a 250 million dollar movie be considered a flop ? Just ask Tom Cruise . Mission Impossible III still hasn't recouped the money spent on making it and marketing that "piece'o'shit" . The only way I'd ever see that "celluloid feces" is on download . I hope The Church Of Scientology loses their shirts on this "shit-stain" on the screen .

18 Don't Just Sit There Say Sumthin !:

Die Muräne said...

Nobody would launch a movie during the worldcup! cause just noone would be interested. Here many theatres where closed because they were absolutely empty. Haha!

But I saw some good movies (most of them porn stuff, you know....).
Usually they show them here pretty much later than in the states. So probably it's just "old stuff" for you. For example I liked "Inside man" or the "underworld 2".
But I know: who cares?! lol

L>T said...

They all look like great movies.
Tom Cruise looks like puke of course.

I hardly ever watch movies I always say i'll get the video, but, then i can never sit still long anough to watch a movie at home. *sigh*

that first one does look esp. good, tho...

wallycrawler said...

Die Murane , what is this "Porn Stuff" you speak of ? Would I be interested in this "Porn Stuff" and how did I not know about this "Porn" ? Hmm..if there is "Old Stuff" it seams this "Porn" might have been around for awhile . I must investigate this phenomenon "Porn" ! I'll be back .

The Phosgene Kid said...

I am down with any movies featuring lots of hooters.

Maybe Cruise ought to stick his noggin in his sonogram machine and see if anyone is home.

wallycrawler said...

"Holy shit" ! Did ya know "porn" means sex movies ? Thank you Die Murane you are now my hero and best friend , thanx , thanx . Thanx ...!

I>t have you ever seen "porn" movies , they're quite something ya know ?

Hey Die Murane these guys in "porn" movies , they have very large "tallywackers" . I dunno if I like that ? Do you ? Just ask'n ! I don't mean anything by that !

I>t have you noticed that "porn" actors have very large "schlongs" or is it just me ? Hey I know what your think'n mines not that big , right ? Let me just say I'm OK in the size department , OK ?

wallycrawler said...

Hey Kid ! I think that smug prick needs a few more years of "Applied Scholastics"

Die Muräne said...

"Thank you Die Murane you are now my hero and best friend"

hmm, I thought I was your hero and best friend all the time...
But thanks, now I see myself much clearer! lol

L>T said...

well, wally, i wasn't interested in researching what this 'porn' was, until you brought in the penis factor.
(& of course your penis, we don't want to leave willy out, wally). ;]

I have been up all night taking a 'hard' look at it. (did you know they have this 'porn' all over the internet?) I think you are right about the schlongs. Lots of long schlongs.
Long Schlong Silver was esp. impressive.

Gosh, I think I have a new hobby.

Toby said...

I've not heard of a single film you've listed. I'm interested in all of them though. Except MI3.

If she's not dead yet, Betty Page is a shut-in some where in Florida.

Flora Pang said...

hmmm...entertainment blog, I love.

Gyrobo said...

Seriously, what was the point of Mission Impossible III? Was it some kind of bus service?

wallycrawler said...

Fuck the movies ! Ya know what ? I gotta get a new job . This one's kill'n me ! All I do all day is bitch and complain . I'm F'n miserable ! I bitch about the smallest shit like movies and rain and it's this f'n job drag'n me down . I'm not normally a prick , but lately , "man" I'm a dick ! I'm way to smart for my position and there's no way I wanna move up , so I gotta go , that's it ! So how the hell am I gonna tell my wife ? I would never write it in a blog so I snuck it in the comments , she'd never read it here . So any answers out there ?

"Damit" ! This day was a complete wash out . I drive my bike up and down the beaches and do you think I could find one gal in a skimpy string bikini ! Ahh just because it was raining & thunderstorms all day ya think they'd go out when it clears up ! "Fuck" ! See what I mean ?

L>T said...

Get ahold of yourself, wally. JEEZ! get ahold of something, anyway.
Quit your damn job if you hate it & you can afford it & you can get something better.
Life is short.

Keshi said...

Some nice offers there :)

I dunno what it is but it seems like Mr.Cruise has lost all his charm...mebbe cos of his Scientology crap.


Die Muräne said...

So good luck then!! Be open not angry. Laugh, have a few beers with your mates. And a new door will open somewhere for sure!

Blonde Vigilante said...

Snakes on Planes...really? Really?

*shakes her head in mild protest*

wallycrawler said...

Thanx guys , thanx very much .

wallycrawler said...

Blondie , ya "Snakes On A Plane" !
You can find the trailer on It's pretty scary also very funny . I think you'll like it , really !