Friday, February 24, 2006

Let Me Tell Ya A Story ...


...About a guy named Xenu a poor Galaxian Overlord barely could keep his hundreds on billions fed !

Then one day he came up with an idea ..."Kill Them All"!

75 million years ago Xenu was an Overlord in charge of 76 planets . He and a group of "Loyal Officers" were the government on these worlds . One of these planets was the one we live on , but back then Earth was called Teegeeack . The problem was all the planets were over populated . Over 178 billion on each planet . The evil Xenu had a plan . Get rid of the overpopulation . He and a group of renegades came up with a plan to kill billions of people . He brought everyone together with an income tax inspections rouse . Then with the help of psychiatrists , injected his flock with a serum of alcohol and glycol , thus paralysing his people . He then rounded up all the paralyzed people and put them into rocket planes . They looked like DC8's without props . He had the "DC8 rocket space planes" fly to Teegeeack , [ Earth remember ! ] . He had all the hundreds of zillions of paralyzed people placed around the volcanoes of Teegeeack . Xenu "da Evil One" then had his followers drop nukes into the volcanoes , then the despicable Overlord exploded the bombs all at once . "KABOOM"!!!

That's not the end of the story . Now we all know when you die there is a soul [ back then a soul was called a thetan] . Xenu was way to smart to have all these souls flying about ! So he made a machine to grab all these thetans . An electronic beam machine , a "flypaper type device" . He trapped all the thetans in some gizmo and forced the souls to watch 3D movies in large cinamas . The movies were about God , Jesus Christ , and of coarse Da Devil [ Boo] . These 3D movies lasted days and brainwashed the poor thetans . Now all these thetans were very confused [ I dunno about you I am too ] and the souls started getting clustered together in same thinking type lots . The thetans became so clustered that the groups of souls became one thinking soul ... Thetan... Type thingy . The thetan clusters started to inhabit the bodies of the remaining few people who survived the nuclear explosions . Guess who the survivors were ? Cavemen that's who ! TADA ...Get'n it yet ? Come'n along now right !? So everybody living today has one of these clustered thetans [ it's called a "Body Thetan" ] living inside us .

Well years latter Xenu was overthrown by the good "Loyal Officers" and he was locked away in a mountain on a secret planet , were he still resides today . Don't be scared he can't get out cause he is guarded by a force-field powered by an eternal battery . DEE END.

Like the story ? What da fuck ya mean it's a stupid story ?

Well I borrowed the story from L. Ron Hubbard and his religion . It's called Scientology ! I also borrowed the story from a web site called Operation Clambake . http://www.xenu.net

People who believe in Scientology don't know this story , at least most don't . They aren't told of this crap until they become OT-III [ that's L . Ron Hubbard speak for highly enlightened]. In the con game it's called the big switcheroo . When you can't get anymore money from "the game" ya have to tell the " mark" , " The Real Truth" ! In the weeks that follow I will expose the "Truths" , the myths and the celebrities that make up one of the largest "Cults" in America . Hope Ya Stay Tuned Da Wallycrawler .

14 Don't Just Sit There Say Sumthin !:

The Taker of Gist said...

I thought that South Park episode was just satire. I had no idea it was real.

But, you've got to admit, it sure explains a lot.

The Taker of Gist said...

Of course, this will give my friends a little confidence in their new First Church of Tax Exempt Status.

wallycrawler said...

Sometimes satire is funnier if ya just tell exactly the truth .

These poor idiots . Imagine spending thousands of dollars and years of "learning" to find out the "real" origins was this crock of shit ! L. Ron was a real piece of work eh ?

I loved that South Park episode ! The one when Micheal Jackson came to town was great too !

jungle jane said...

my god. that bit about the machine that steals souls is just...well...unbelievable.

scientology sounds fantastic. where do i sign up and hand all my money over?? will you join me wally?

wallycrawler said...

Hey how da hell do you think I know so much ? I'm in da church !

"Double J you are now in my power" !

Australia , Canada , & the US have the largest contingents of L. Ron worshppers . So just walk downtown step into da "Church" and say..."Where da Clay Tables at" ?

Keshi said...

I have never really tried to know what Scientology is all abt...it's intrgueing tho..

Keshi.

wallycrawler said...

Keshi : It's mind controlling ! I dunno about intrigue ?

The Taker of Gist said...

I mean, they had that thing on the screen, "THIS IS WHAT SCIENTOLOGISTS ACTUALLY BELILEVE."

But I thought they were making it up! There's no... emoticon... for what I'm feeling right now!

Oh, wait. There is.

XD

wallycrawler said...

What ya gonna do the crazies are run'n the planet , scientologists , Bush as President , Karbala , Iran with nukes , United Arab Emirates taken control of US ports...

Nikky Egland said...

LMAO that is hilarious!

The Taker of Gist said...

My emoticon still stands.

XD

Keshi said...

well most cults n religious groups r mind controlling.

I believe in way of life :)

Keshi.

wallycrawler said...

Hey Nikky Waz up ? Wanna join a cult ? If I was to join a cult there would have a lot of orgy's and stuff . Not aliens & flying thetans .

Kehsi your right some religions practice mind control . Christianity practices free of choice , big difference !

OK I give Gist ? XD ?

Keshi said...

Freedom of choice is a way of life which is the only way to sanity :)\

Keshi.