Let Me Tell Ya A Story ...

...About a guy named Xenu a poor Galaxian Overlord barely could keep his hundreds on billions fed !

Then one day he came up with an idea ..."Kill Them All"!

75 million years ago Xenu was an Overlord in charge of 76 planets . He and a group of "Loyal Officers" were the government on these worlds . One of these planets was the one we live on , but back then Earth was called Teegeeack . The problem was all the planets were over populated . Over 178 billion on each planet . The evil Xenu had a plan . Get rid of the overpopulation . He and a group of renegades came up with a plan to kill billions of people . He brought everyone together with an income tax inspections rouse . Then with the help of psychiatrists , injected his flock with a serum of alcohol and glycol , thus paralysing his people . He then rounded up all the paralyzed people and put them into rocket planes . They looked like DC8's without props . He had the "DC8 rocket space planes" fly to Teegeeack , [ Earth remember ! ] . He had all the hundreds of zillions of paralyzed people placed around the volcanoes of Teegeeack . Xenu "da Evil One" then had his followers drop nukes into the volcanoes , then the despicable Overlord exploded the bombs all at once . "KABOOM"!!!

That's not the end of the story . Now we all know when you die there is a soul [ back then a soul was called a thetan] . Xenu was way to smart to have all these souls flying about ! So he made a machine to grab all these thetans . An electronic beam machine , a "flypaper type device" . He trapped all the thetans in some gizmo and forced the souls to watch 3D movies in large cinamas . The movies were about God , Jesus Christ , and of coarse Da Devil [ Boo] . These 3D movies lasted days and brainwashed the poor thetans . Now all these thetans were very confused [ I dunno about you I am too ] and the souls started getting clustered together in same thinking type lots . The thetans became so clustered that the groups of souls became one thinking soul ... Thetan... Type thingy . The thetan clusters started to inhabit the bodies of the remaining few people who survived the nuclear explosions . Guess who the survivors were ? Cavemen that's who ! TADA ...Get'n it yet ? Come'n along now right !? So everybody living today has one of these clustered thetans [ it's called a "Body Thetan" ] living inside us .

Well years latter Xenu was overthrown by the good "Loyal Officers" and he was locked away in a mountain on a secret planet , were he still resides today . Don't be scared he can't get out cause he is guarded by a force-field powered by an eternal battery . DEE END.

Like the story ? What da fuck ya mean it's a stupid story ?

Well I borrowed the story from L. Ron Hubbard and his religion . It's called Scientology ! I also borrowed the story from a web site called Operation Clambake . http://www.xenu.net

People who believe in Scientology don't know this story , at least most don't . They aren't told of this crap until they become OT-III [ that's L . Ron Hubbard speak for highly enlightened]. In the con game it's called the big switcheroo . When you can't get anymore money from "the game" ya have to tell the " mark" , " The Real Truth" ! In the weeks that follow I will expose the "Truths" , the myths and the celebrities that make up one of the largest "Cults" in America . Hope Ya Stay Tuned Da Wallycrawler .