Saturday, November 03, 2007

Ugly Ass Celebrities.

Wiliam Defoe: OK a great actor, but man ugly as a dried up condom! Ya know what I hear? Guys that are "Fugly" have huge cocks, and that's what I heard about him. Ya lucky ol' skin-bag!

Sarah Jessica Parker: Mole, moly, moly...M O L E... mole.
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Steve Buscemi: Fuck man eat sumthin will ya? Loved ya in "Fargo"!

Tim Burton: How in da hell do you get all that hawt poon?

Never mind I know. Actress's will suck any one's dick to be in a movie...And there's noth'n wrong with that! "Big Fish" is a master piece! So's everything else he's done. Shit I'd suck his cock!

Tori Spelling: "Yonkers" If ya didn't have money men would be kick'n dirt in your face!

Micheal Moore: "Fat, Lazy and Stupid is no way to go through life young man"!

Ahh... he isn't lazy and far from stupid , but man will ya share a carb with the rest of the world?

Rene Zellweger: Wa da fuck hap'n ta you?
Somebody fire her publicist and kill her plastic surgeon.
"You had me at hello"...Good bye!

Perez Hilton: Who the fuck are you, ugly?

Keith Richards: "Whoa"! That face stops traffic! No maybe not? Then that bus that hit em, wouldn't have road right over his frig'n noggin. Fuck'n ugly dude.

Star Jones: OK this is a old picture, but she now looks like a frig'n Scientology Alien.

The Old picture is more flattering!

Jon Heder: Ya look as queer as a three balled cat! Fuck man I hate ta "Out" ya, but come out. shit!

Ferrets have more of a chin than yours. Bugs Bunny teeth. Buddy open your eyes. Can you do another character other than "Napoleon Dynamite"? Lame Dude, Lame!

You ugly, chinless, big toothed, talentless, retard...Give it up, now! Before I have'ta punch ya.

Oh Ya Loved "Neopolitan Dynamite"!

Jenna Jamison: Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, J-E-N-N-A. This one hurts the most.
You were perfect. What the fuck are ya think'n? You look like Posh Spice's ugly sister. You face was aging perfectly with just the right amount of character lines. There was a time you were the hawtest woman in Hollywood. Now you look like an eel!

Kelly Osbourne: It would be mean to say anything. Bad genes that's all.

Lyle Lovett: "The Ol' additive; Fugly = Large Cock". "He's huge in da pants"!

He'd have'ta be!!!

Micheal Jackson: Another ol' additive; "Small pee pee = Child molester".

Ugly is what ugly does!

Falvor Flav: Looks like he was on fire and somebody put him out with a 2x4.


Brigitte Nielson: She just gave up. And so she should have. It was a losing battle, the fat and ugly was oozing up from within. Evil incarnate!

Howard Stern: My personal savour! Anyway ugly as sin. Ya make me laugh every morning but ya look like Ichabod Crane. Beautiful gal on your side to offset your homeliness, good move!

Jay Leno: As about as ugly as unfunny. Almost but not quite! *see Carrot Top

Donald Trump: Nice hair on ya! With all your money ya can't get a hair transplant?

I do think you have dreamy eyes though Donald.

...shhh i hear he has a small wee wee and if I get in good with him I'd fuck him over, just ta swap DNA with his wife. She's flip'n unreal!

* Carrot Top: See Jay Leno.

Courtney Love: Man I wanted to fuck you. You were my "Slut-bag Dream Girl"!
Now your just an emaciated, dried up, brain dead, lice infested, rich ol'...OK I'm hard...I'll still do ya.

Sa Later Wally.

59 Don't Just Sit There Say Sumthin !:

handmaiden said...

wow! that was some post. You hit the nail err..."celebrities" on the head with that one. The only thing is, I don't know if genital size can really make an unattractive person popular.

P.S. IT'S ME L>T with a new blog. come & visit.

wallycrawler said...

L.D. doesn't make an unattractive person popular? Ever hear of Tommy Lee? hehe

It's good ta see ya back!

wisdomstuff said...

You should have had a fugly disclaimer before I subjected myself to that. I practically burned my eyes out!

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your new header. It looks great!

wallycrawler said...

Thanx "Oh Wise One". I'm not so sure. I played with it yesterday. I think I can do better, later maybe?

"Wise gal"? you know about the "Fugly" thing then? The ugly skinny guys have huge cocks don't they? When I played sports that seemed to be the case... Oh ya the bigger the cock, the more effeminate too!

Some women think I'm gay sometimes , if ya get my drift?

wisdomstuff said...

Gee, Wally, you never struck me as gay :-)

I can't say I've ever been with a tall, skinny, ugly guy although it does sometimes seem the taller guys are the "bigger" guys but that isn't always true either. Besides, you know what they say about size.... unless you are practically invisible it doesn't really matter to me, if you get my drift!

wallycrawler said...

Yup I do!

wisdomstuff said...

And you deleted your comment, why?

wallycrawler said...

My Blogger fucked up. I wasn't finished and it posted it anyway!

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Ice said...

Agree about J.e.n.n.a... she looks Gawd Fuckin' Awful... she used to look damn good.

Ohsie well.

wallycrawler said...

Yup I did miss her, but she's hardly famous. I'm plan'n on do a really ugly chapter later... Maybe she'll make it?


Ice you liked Jenna eh? I dated a girl who looked just like her, minus da boobs. I'm not a tit man anyway!
I have a theory that most porn stars want to disfigure themselves to make themselves less attractive, fer some reason. Duh wonder why!

Anonymous said...

yeah have to agree you pretty much nailed all the celebs..Carrot Top really really does scare me especially now that he's looking all buffed up, does he paint his eyebrows on or what?
How could you leave out Mick Jagger and Steven Tyler?
Jenna never did anything for me but then again she never did anything TO

I'm afraid you're right, God's law of equal distribution holds true in the anatomy dept, just like women who are small breasted have the most incredible looking asses, all's fair I guess, God's cool that

BV said...

Man, you crack me up. And, I will totally supply the rat for SJP's mole if you can get in touch with her.

wallycrawler said...

TC and I are in the same mind set. Fugly = huge dong... My wife sez that holds true with brain cells too... Retarded = Massive Member!
That's why she loves me...I'm way smart.


Blondie I happen to know Sarah J, I call her that all her friends do. We're really tight. She told me the rat has to come from the Hampton's, not some V.B. rat fer her that's fer sure. As a mater of fact she insists she wants a "Hampton Weasel" to gnaw off that ugly Planters wart. "Hampton Weasel" eh...OK I'll call Jerry Seinfeld!

Ice said...

Awww... I'm back in your circle of trust (friends list) ;-)


Them's some big eyes on your title...

My VideoCure is back up working... strange that it fubar'd for 5 days then starting working again.

I don't pretend to understand.

Have a great Thursday!

hannah said...

oh, but i like willam dafoe. and i'd totally fuck him

i never understood why everyone thought courtney love was so pretty, she's really not.

The Phosgene Kid said...

Elvis probably ain't lookin' too hot about now either....

wallycrawler said...

Ms. Princess you were always in my heart. Just not on the list, you went private, remember? And L>t's back now too. The only one miss'n is Jungle Jane. Waz up with dat?


See Hannah's is also back bolg'n. How's it go'n sweetheart?

I don't think anyone thought Courtney Love was "pretty", but she was hawt there fer a sec. Now I just "Love" her money!

She blew her talent, looks and her brain cells up, good!


Kid, when Elvis died he left enough meat on his bones, that now, if we dug him up, he look normal. He'd look like the 50's Elvis, a lean mean "Elvis Zombie"!

Kid we should reanimate E.A.P. that would be fun!

Ice said...

LOL @ "in your heart" bloody cute.

I know, my bad for going private, had to though!

wallycrawler said...

Yes dear I know. I'm glad your back. I think everyone is.

Now when ya gonna post a good picture of yourself?

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