Monday, November 19, 2007

Off Colour Humour and How To Tell It.

OK if ya don't like Off-Colour humour stop now! Don't read anymore!

Ya still with me? Good!

I love the most offensive jokes the more vile the funnier with me. I've wrote and told the worst jokes at parties in front many people. I'll act out every roll of the "The Aristocrats" joke. I say them in mixed company in front of many people. Some if not most walk away, muttering or horrified, some laugh. The look of horror or the look of disgust makes me laugh. sometimes til I cry. Ya see the jokes maybe aren't that funny it's the reaction that's funny.

My oldest joke is: "What's 16" long, stiff, and makes a woman scream all night long"? -"Crib Death"! Not bad it's a start.

"What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple"? "I don't cum on my apple before I eat it"! Oldie but a goodie. Some guests tend to leave the room about now.

I wont say the "Baby Diaper" joke every ones heard that!

I love this one: "How can ya tell if your mother is on the rag"? "Your brother's cock tastes funny"! Ya that one still makes me chuckle. I get a belly laugh at dinner that's fer sure!

Keswick shit sandwich: A Sutton man, a Keswick man and myself are attending the Sutton Fair. After conversing for a bit, the Keswick man stands up a says "I'mz A hungy" and reaches into his jacket and pulls out a withered hotdog bun. Then he pulls down his pants, puts the bun between his legs and grunts out a large bowel movement into it. He then proceeds to eat it all the while smile'n the smile of a retard on a swing. The Sutton man looks at me and says "Fuck is that the grossest thing you ever saw". I'm barley hold'n down my breakfast when he gets up pulls out two pieces of wonder bread, moves over to a Holstein Cow, reaches into it's ass and pulls out a huge lump of fecal matter, slaps it on the bread and eats its. He looks at me and with his mouth full states, "Fuck'n Keswickians, they're like cannibals"!

I'm in some stupid hotel in Northern Ontario, so I just posted this unfinished.

I'll post the rest later.

10 Don't Just Sit There Say Sumthin !:

Ice said...

I'm an ass... 'cause I like the older look, so I voted... "Change it the fuck back"

But thats just a preference... I'll still read ya - no matter what!

Hows Wally?

wisdomstuff said...

God, there is more? I think you can stop now! I actually went to see the Aristocrats and almost left. I guess I'm just not quite THAT tasteless.

Anonymous said...

Oh God I should've heeded your warning but I thought I was brave enough.

I think I'll go take a dump on the sofa now.:)

wallycrawler said...

I'm back from my mini-excurtion that took me from one end of the province to the other.

Ice I'm still work'n on it. I have a skin to layer the back. Then I'll be done.


Wise-gal I knew that. Your a class act.


Hey T.C.! Shit, I loved the "Top Cat" cartoon when I was grow'n up. I think it came on right after "Quick Draw Magraw"?

I'm glad you braved the jokes.

Your the first blogger invited to my "Birthday Party" in May.
It should be a great party! And Top Cat if ya can make it your in!?

Anonymous said...

May? MAY? I can't remember what to do tomorrow, how am I gonna remember May?
Sounds like fun...ummmm what should I wear? maybe a Top hat and tux.
Score some good catnip and tell the mrs I'm going
Quck draw..he always came on after me cause he had to ride my coattails.

Ice said...

LOL @ that shit.

Keshi said...

LOL Wally!


TK Kerouac said...

I'm closing my eyes next time I come here. ox

wallycrawler said...

OK T.C. your in then?


Ice Ya I thought you'd like them.


Keshi I'm embarrassed that "You" read that, really!


I have that effect on a lotta women T.K.K! My wife shuts her eyes every time I enter the bed room. I know she fake'n sleep'n!

Ice said...

Got any Wally in ya?

Want sum?