Saturday, March 18, 2006

"This Is Dedicated To The One I Love"...

Summer 2004 : A cell phone conversation .
"ring ring" "Hello"
"HI Paris" ?
"Hi Paris , it's Mark Gutenberg your west coast publicist" .
"Hi Marty , Waz Up" ?
"Well Paris...We're having a tough time selling you to any mainstream movie companies over here" .
"Oh I see" . "What can I do to help" ? "Should I marry someone like my sister did" ? "How'bout Scott Stapp" ?
"Who" ? " not him , are you umm...close to someone more famous" ?
"I fucked Bruce Willis last night , how'bout him" ? "Hot" !
"Bruce who" ? "Oh ya him , no ah , someone under 50" ? "How about Jake Gyllenhaal or Heath Ledger" ?
"No , but I blew Jake at "Noboo" last year and Heath at the"Viper Room" a couple of months ago" . "Do you think one of them will marry me" ?
"Excuse me for asking dear , but who haven't you blown" ?
"Clive Owen , I've never blown him" ! "But I did see him receive a hummer from Ewan McGregor at the "Spider Bar" ! "HOT" !
"Ahh Ya" . "OK then , do you have anymore videos around" ? " You know what I mean right" ?
" No what" ?
"Videos of you...having , sex" !
"Oh those , ya of coarse" .
"But not the ones with animals"!!!?
"No , then no" .
"How about pictures of you , nude or having sex" ?
"Just the ones on my cell phone" . "I'm using the phone now" .
"Great , cell phone , great...Paris where are you" ?
"I dunno , where" ?
"No dear where are you located" ?
"Oh hehehe I'm in my car silly" .
"...Are you close to the "House of Blues" ?
"Hon ! I don't even know where my house is" !
"Go to the closest "Starbucks" and drop the cell phone in the men's room garbage can" .
"I love this phone and why the men's room" ?
"You'll look less conspectus going to the men's room and I want those pictures" !
"OK then call me at the "Zanzibar" (562)555-1212 and I'll tell you what "Starbucks" I did the drop" .
"You know the "Zanzibar's" phone number and you can't find your own house" ? "OK...Nevermind" ! "See ya sweetheart" .
"Good-bye Marvin" .

"Paris Hilton's Cell Phone Hacked" !
"Paris has also been signed to do the movie "House of Wax".

34 Don't Just Sit There Say Sumthin !:

the_phosgene_kid said...

She could play the part of a hooker pretty well but that woulb be type casting. I wish the next thing she'd blow is the tail pipe on her car while it's running. I am tired of hearing about her.

wallycrawler said...

Ya know what I really do like her . I know she's foolish and doesn't know how to treat people but that's her lineage . What's a spoiled child turn into ? A spoiled bitch ! They threw her though school . Her sister and her grew up in hotel bars . All the money in the world can't raise children . Believe me her family didn't care what those kids did . They were clubbing at 15 . This is the classic poor little rich girl , looking for Daddy's love . I feel sorry for her and her sister . Ever seen her Mother , man that women party's huge and it shows . She and sis just copied Mom . That being said , she has the best PR agent in the world marketing her . Wow how do you get a TV and a movie deal after doing a porno . Amazing ! Everybody in Hollywood knew she was behind it's release . If the Hilton family wanted that movie not to see the light of day there's no way it would have been released ! We're talk'n about one of the ten richest family's in the world . Let's face it what could Paris or Nickey do other than become parasites at least they're making their own money now . Good Luck to them . They'll need it with all the leaches out there , men waiting to pounce and suck their money dry . I can guarantee you at 30 you will not be able to recognize Paris . She'll have had a million plastic surgeries and a zillion more men. Just like Mom . I feel for her , but not enough to stop the fodder .

The Taker of Gist said...

I've noticed a sharp uptick in the amount of UFO activity since your blog came into being. This is your first warning. Don't make me issue a second, or the Gistology Institute will have a field day.

wallycrawler said...

K , I'll watch that !

Funny thing my next post will be on UFOs . Thanx Gist for the lead-in !

The Taker of Gist said...

Lead ins are 20th century. I prefer news flashes. News flash! My blog has changed addresses. The new one is here. I thought I should tell everyone, even though I left a switchover post on The Gist Of It.

Alex said...

I hate to say it, but I think she is very hot. I would be glad to be in that.

Did anyone here dial the numbers taken from her phone? I tried a bunch (I get free phone calls) but only the less cool ones worked. All the stars numbers must have been changed or blocked.

I did reach the agent in LA or something. It was boring.

Die Muräne said...

What a HOT post, from a HOT guy, bout a HOT girl, so HOT you know, really HOT! HOT.

wallycrawler said...

The Gist Mill has moved . I will fix .
Hey Alex I like her too ! I was gonna post pictures of her as a child just to see what she has done to herself already , but I think it wouldn't be that funny , more sad than funny ! In the future she'll carve her face and body into some monster ! Mark my words , she's a sad little girl .

Die is very "Hot" !

BionicBuddha said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
BionicBuddha said...

She may never win any academy awards...but like you say it is hard to have alot of ambition when your entire life is given to you on a silver platter at birth...


P.S. thanks for checking out our blog

Die Muräne said...

But I must admit:
I bloody like these pics!

crallspace said...

I never cared much for Paris hilton. Never saw the porn, but heard it sucked. I just rent the hardcore, no holes barred shit for a reason.

People who oogle over covert or softcore porn are nerds! Nerds!

Keshi said...

lol okk so it's Paris-bashing day :)

**"Excuse me for asking dear , but who haven't you blown" ?

ROFL that was funnnny!

Why does Paris have such a BAD reputation? Surely she cant be this much of a sex junky..or is she??


Die Muräne said...

@keshi: an other question: why do I have such a BAD reputation? Surely I cant be this much of a sex junky... or am I?

Keshi said...

**an other question: why do I have such a BAD reputation? Surely I cant be this much of a sex junky... or am I?

lol u r! I just read ur comments above.

U think Paris is hot? goshhh u havent seen real women then :):)


The Taker of Gist said...

The only Parisians I know are the good people of Gistcorp. It's my institute's imaginary rival. Guess who runs it? That's right, Edmonde.

Curse your imaginary eyes, Edmonde!

Die Muräne said...

@keshi: maybe you're right and I should leave little Switzerland for a while... lol

wallycrawler said...

Ya Crall that porn not only sucked it blowed . HEhE .

Hey Gist ! That's why ya don't like Edmonde , he's French . Everybody hates the French !

Die you like that rich gal eh ? I think she should work out a bit more , she has no form , she looks amaciated . Someone give that girl a steak get some protein in her . LOL I just got that ! "PROTEIN IN HER" . Maybe she eats too much PROTEIN ! What the hell was I talk'n about ? Oh ya , she looks kind'a sickly . Maybe to much booze ?

Keshi no one can hold a candle to you . You are a true goddess . Please post more pictures . Die and myself want more shots , thank you .

Die Muräne said...

fully agree! We NEED more shots!

Cezi said...

That's just great Wallycrawler!!I was thinking, does she ever wear underwear? Hmm...I think not!!!

F.J. Delgado said...

as much as i hate to admit it, Paris is a hottie... she's just such a slut, it's difficult to come to terms with all the dudes that have stuck it in her!!

wallycrawler said...

FJ I just don't see it . OK sometimes , with the right make-up , the right lighting , like the burger commercial , ya she's "hot" . But all the candid shot whoo... "there's magic in them lenses" . Ya know what that's the first tome we didn't like the same gal Hmm .

Now Cezi that's a different story ! That's a true beauty ! Momma Mia that's some hot tamale !!! Right FJ Cezi is hot !? And I love that shot on your site , KABOOM !!!

none - ya said...

She's a train wreck that we just can't stop looking at. She's just a lost little girl and a grown woman's body.

Keshi said...

Wally and Die I think u have seen enough of me to start loving Paris lol!

Die yeah leave the shores of Switzerland and perhaps travel ard North India...Punjab..thats the place of real Beauties!


wallycrawler said...

Ya Mack that was the perfect analogy !

Maja said...

Pretty ;)

Steph said...

I'd hit it.

The Taker of Gist said...

Edmonde isn't French. He's from New York City. I hope that cleared up any questions you might have about his nationality.

josh williams said...

If I have a little rich girl I'm going to name her Inianapolis.

jungle jane said...

did you delete the ones where she is blowing you, Wally??

workin' for da man too said...

Holy Cow ... here I thought I'd accessed People magazine but instead it was the Wally-show. Paris in People and Paris in Wallycrawler (no pun intended). She does get lotsa press without doing much. Let's get back to something more interesting, like how Paris is a recruiter for Scientology and how she's sucking all you men into it (pun intended this time).

wallycrawler said...

Maja not as pretty as you and defiantly not as smart as you ! I love your site .

wallycrawler said...

Steph love the new pic . I love'd to watch ya hit it !

Gist Edmonde's from New York eh ? New York , Paris , London , each one as pompous as the next !
Let me just say I like each one of those cities it was a joke .

I love that name Indianapolis . For a girl , I love it !

Jane I try not to get blow jobs from gals with Herpes . I've got enough on my plate already . I don't need sores on my knob !

wallycrawler said...

Hey "Man" Paris was invited into the sect , she declined . As stupid as she appears , she's still way to smart for their bullshit !