Saturday, November 28, 2009

Tiger & Da Misses.

Tiger Woods: Injuries Caused by Wife, Not SUV

Tiger Woods did not suffer facial lacerations from a car accident. They were inflicted by his wife, Elin Nordegren -- according to a conversation Woods had Friday after the accident.

Tiger Woods

Tiger has yet to be formally interviewed by the Florida Highway Patrol -- that should happen this afternoon. But we're told Tiger had a conversation Friday -- with a non-law enforcement type -- detailing what went down before his Escalade hit a fire hydrant.

We're told he said his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to our source, she scratched his face up. We're told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat for his SUV -- but according to our source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club.

We're told Woods became "distracted," thought the vehicle was stopped, and looked to see what had happened. At that point the SUV hit the fire hydrant and then hit a tree.


So da great Tiger Woods isn't so pristine. What a dolt get'n whacked by his wife. Doesn't this goof know if your gonna bang some broad on da side never admit guilt? And if you do... Do it with a fax or email like Phil Collins. hehehe... He deserves every golf club ta da head and every scratch to da face. I always knew this guy was a social retard. Here's da proof. They keep this Woods guy bottled up in a very tight bubble, millions of miles from da press. Mainly because if he is ever asked a slightly difficult question he'll become totally unraveled. In reality Tiger Woods has a huge ego and from what I hear, a total diva. They said the same thing about Albert Einstein so he's in great company. He has few friends, mostly groomers and golf buds. In his early life he never really got to play with other kids, so he has zero social skills. This young gal who he got hooked up with was a master player. She was determined to hook a major athlete like Tiger. Ala: Wayne Gretzky & Janet Jones. Jones blew every athlete in existence til Wayne fell fer her. Elin was much da same, known to take a like'n to Swedish hockey players. But who cares? The moral here is: Tiger Woods = Stupid Retard!

Is that a moral? hmmm... I think not... But he is quite dim anyway and this story made Me laugh today. Thanx Tig'r

Wally Oot!

Update 12/02/09:

I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone.

Although I am a well-known person and have made my career as a professional athlete, I have been dismayed to realize the full extent of what tabloid scrutiny really means. For the last week, my family and I have been hounded to expose intimate details of our personal lives. The stories in particular that physical violence played any role in the car accident were utterly false and malicious. Elin has always done more to support our family and shown more grace than anyone could possibly expect.

But no matter how intense curiosity about public figures can be, there is an important and deep principle at stake which is the right to some simple, human measure of privacy. I realize there are some who don’t share my view on that. But for me, the virtue of privacy is one that must be protected in matters that are intimate and within one’s own family. Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn’t have to mean public confessions.

Whatever regrets I have about letting my family down have been shared with and felt by us alone. I have given this a lot of reflection and thought and I believe that there is a point at which I must stick to that principle even though it’s difficult.

I will strive to be a better person and the husband and father that my family deserves. For all of those who have supported me over the years, I offer my profound apology.

HA HA! Wa A Maroon!

Have ya seen this chick he was bang'n? No?

Rachel Uchitel

OH MY GAWD!!! Hawter than Hadise. In Hadise I mean da European porn star/pop singer.

But no. Un-fuck'n believable! Hawtest gal ever.

Shit maybe he isn't that stupid. Naw he's just stupid-lucky!

7 Don't Just Sit There Say Sumthin !:

Anonymous said...

OMG, that is what SO said and I told him he was nuts. Damn you Wally. No number for you! :-)

wallycrawler said...

It's funny how a person can go from hero to villain in less than 24 hours with da media isn't?

Ya think they'd get da dam story right before they'd make it public wouldn't ya? Oh no they have'ta be first, who cares if the story is bogus.

It's like da "Balloon Boy" story. Totally bogus and CNN & every media service was right on it. "There's a boy in that balloon"... Without a hint of facts.

The Phosgene Kid said...

And here I thought he was just all jacked up on drugs. That's what happens when you jump to conclusions.

Anonymous said...

PS3-controlling phone launched in Blighty -

wallycrawler said...

Kid you said it best and shortest.

Jumping to conclusions. Who would do a thing like that?

Hey does Tiger take drugs? I knew it. Bastard!

Anonymous said...

Yes, the media does suck but people buy into it.

crallspace said...

Damn Tiger.