Saturday, April 04, 2009

ReHash: Are You A Triple "A" Personality?

This look back is fer all the emails I got fer my recent posts on the economy and carbon taxes. Something I wrote way-back in early 2006.

Do you know what a triple "A" personality is? It stands for "Astoundingly Astute Asshole"! Or in layman's terms "F'n Asshole"!
Do people dislike you and ya can't figure out why? Do you at party's find yourself thinking: "I hate these shit-heads", "These people are fuck'n lame brains"? Do you have an answer to every one's problems, even when you don't care or don't think ya know the answer? Do you have a whole whack of unusable information? Do you know way to much info on world, celebrity and personal affairs? Do you have perfect recall? Do you have an answer to unanswerable questions? When lectured at school. or work, can you repeat verbatim what the person just taught you? Is da wife's nick-name for you, "Asshole"? Do you have a blog?

If you answered yes to any or all of these questions you are a "AAA" person! So ya guessed it. Da Wallycrawler is a total triple "A" person! I'm that guy. I'm the guy people run away from after 10 min. of meeting him. Unless your drunk or stoned, then I'm your God! I've had drunk gals and guys say;:"Man I always thought you where a dick, man your so f'n cool"! Then the next day, after sobering up, avoid me like the plague. This is to say ya don't have to be smart to be "AAA". Fuck I'm not that's for sure! Ya just have to be... kind'a different. The way my brain works is waaaay different than other people's brain's work.

The only person I can think of who is just like this and most people would know is "Cliff Clavin" of "Cheers" fame. Ya know the TV show in the 80's? Just thinking about that character puts shivers down the backs of every normal person. Not me I related to him. Could you imagine relating to this guy? It's not that he's a bad guy, it's just that he's so fuck'n annoying . That "no-it-all fucker" at the end of the bar. The guy people ask questions of, get the answer from and then roll their eyes. Some of the time the advise is shear utter crap. Some of the time it's just mind numbing drivel. But most of the time it's right on ! So here's the real problem being this guy. (((ALL PEOPLE HATE THE TRUTH!))) Or at least the truth as I know it. I'm the go too guy at work. I have customers and managers come to me every day to fix their problems, or get answers to their projects. I know, you do at your work too! Not at the extent it happens to me though. When I give them the answer, they fuck'n hate it! It's right every time, but they fuck'n hate it! The response is: " That's not what I was told". Or: "Can't I do it this way"? My response usually is: "Well no you can't , that's not the right way". Or. "No that's against code". They hate that reason the most, cause they can't argue against something they don't know about . I can , I'm triple "A" remember? If you pretend to know something I know about, Which is everything, (((LOOK OUT!))) Most people who are like that and argue with me are look'n for the cheap way out . Ya don't do that with me baby! I'll have buy'n everything in the fuck'n store! If you fuck with me I'll fuck with you twice as hard. I'm a total asshole remember? I can make a house inspector do somersaults and I have just fer fun! Customers who have had their plumbing licenses for years come to me for their answers. I don't have a plumbing licence and fucked if I want one. It's just I have total recall for lame fuck'd up shit. Now ask me my wife's friends name and I'm lost. That's the worst thing about being "Triple A", ya just don't care about anyone else. That could be a good thing too! I'm not bragging this is just some scenarios I've come up with (fuck-off asshole) . Why would I brag about plumbing or home improvement? I hate the shit! It bores me to tears.
Now comes the time as why I wrote this post: First I came out to all of you because I know, you know, I'm an asshole. I came out to help all my "AAA" friends and family, it's usually genetic ya know? I came out so people like me will come out and embrace their "assholedom". Please people if you are an asshole come out, come out now. Tell your family and friends, (they already know anyway). Tonight before bed, look in the mirror and ask yourself am I a triple "A" personality? When you come to terms with it, go to your computer and make a comment on my blog. I can help you asshole. I will give you guidance with coming to terms of you be'n a total asshole.
If you know your a no-it-all asshole, here's my best advise to you right now... "KEEP YOUR FUCK'N MOUTH SHUT YOU FUCK'N ASSHOLE"!

OK, OK...I know, I know. That's not what a true triple "A" personality is. It's a highly intelligent, highly organized, highly motivated person . Einstein was a "AAA" personality. Give it a brake will ya? it's just a f'n story. Fuck! What a fuck'n asshole you are !!!

Enuff said. Good Night My Little Assholes All Over Da World .
From Da Wallycrawler .

P.S. A "Cliff Calvinism", not to be confused with da other form of "Calvinism"...

"The Buffalo Theory": As told to Norm Peterson, the beer loving, heavyweight bar stool sitting, perpetual patron on Cheers. Cliff expounds his "Theory" to his beer soaked friend. “Well, you see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it’s the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

9 Don't Just Sit There Say Sumthin !:

Anonymous said...

Um, Wally, shouldn't it be Cliff Clavinism? :-)

The Phosgene Kid said...

Right back at ya, asshole.

wallycrawler said...

OK Jaguar? "Cliff Calvinism". WOW, spell one word wrong?

Shit half that page is misspelled! You come up with one word?
Just fer that I'm leave'n it. I'm A Total Ass fer that, I guess?


Kid I knew that about you. I was just to polite of an ass to say it.


Oh ya Jaguar you look especially good this week. Like wayyyy good. I collected that photo. I rarely do that. It made me feel very much like a man and I thank you.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I didn't say you should change it. Gee, Wally, you are kinda sounding like Mr. Cranky Pants.

wallycrawler said...

Did ya read what I said about your photos?

I was kid'n ya know?

Anonymous said...

Wally, I hadn't seen that comment actually. Well, thank you. Glad you liked it! Anything for you, you know? :-)

wallycrawler said...

Anything eh?

I'll remember that.

Anonymous said...

Okay, fine. Almost anything :-)

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