The Day That Comedy Died !

I'm at home , sick . God I hate being sick I'm the biggest baby when I'm ill . I will just curl up in a ball in front of the fireplace and watch TV . My wife will paint a room , cut the grass , do the laundry , wash the floors & make dinner , all with a temperature of 101 . How do women do that ? Men are such babies ! And I'm the biggest !!! Anyway today I decided to watch a old video , something I haven't seen for a while . I searched around awhile and pulled out a piece of gold . "The king of stand up comedy", SAM . OH OH OHHH !!! If you don't know who Sam is stop reading now ... OK most everybody is still here right ? Sam Kinison was the funniest man ever with a microphone . They're other's Richard Pryor , George Carlin , Bill Cosby and of course George W. Bush "he kills me ", "literally" . None of them could hold a candle [what does that mean anyway] to Sam. The first time I saw Sam it was on the Rodney Dangerfield's HBO special . Rodney had seen Sam on the circuit and had really discovered him . One of many he had discovered including Roseanne Barr & Jim Carey . But Sam was his favorite . Mine too . Kinison said things and did things on and off stage that are truly memorable . Like when his wife & him were involved in a fight the night before he was going on the road . She pretended to make up with him the next morning , [I'm sorry baby , I love you baby ] packed his bag & proceeded to hide a loaded 38 in his carry on bag . Nice ? Ahh , when Sam got out of jail his wife had cleaned out the house and left him penniless . Priceless ! "When I herd him tell that story for the first time I nearly pissed myself "! It goes to show you never let anyone touch your bags especially the woman your screwing around on ! "The Wild Thing" was Sam's badge , one that was well deserved . Sam started living with a " scream'n hot" model & then got caught boffing her equally "smoke'n" sister . Instead off getting his balls cut off , he talked both of them into moving in with him . WA DA FUCK !!! How do you do that ? Or how about the time Sam was flown out from Los Angles to New York to tape the "Joan Rivers Show" [on her dime!]. He'd had just got out of detox . That morning he stopped by " The Howard Stern Show " . Howard was teasing him " Hey your not very funny since you quit the booze " ! Kinison went to the dressing room grabbed a liter of champagne & downed it . He got drunker & drunker as the show went on [and funnier & funnier] . That day he didn't show up for his date with Rivers . She was pissed ! She had a whole hour devoted to him and he fucked her ! Joan Rivers was not going to stand for that, she had a studio full of people & no guest . So she went to his hotel with a camera crew & banged on his door . " Sam are you in there " ? "Why didn't you show up "? " Are you drunk again" ? Funny , crazy shit ! Sam had that effect on most women , he'd fuck them & then they would fuck him even harder . From his exploits with Jessica Hahn or his stints on "Saturday Night Live" everything was full of danger and risk . When Sam went out for dinner or drinks wait staff would fight to serve him . He was huge tipper if the bill came to a thousand bucks he would tip a thou . Sam never lost sight of his former self [ A revival preacher] he always came back to God . In his last days he started preaching again . Ironically Sam was killed by a drunk driver . His last words were "I 'm not ready", looking up at the sky ,"Alright...alright". Sam Kinison was great and I couldn't give him justice by writing any of his bits so I'll recommend one of his DVD's . "Breaking The Rules" pure gold !!! Also the biography "Brother Sam" by Bill Kinison "really well written & funny"! God Bless you Sam thanx for the laughs . Wallycrawler