I Shat My Pants , I Did !

Wanna Bet This Guy Was Try'n To Impress A Chick On A First Date ?

Da Cult Of Celebrity .

I love music , movies & TV, love , love , love them ! Satellite radio is great , I can't wait til the next Sorprano's and Spiderman don't get me on that topic . What bothers me though isn't the productions it's the celebrities . Take Larry David star of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and producer of "Seinfeld" . This guy promotes Toyota Prius cars like no tomorrow ." What an environmentalists huh "? "Not so fast". He receives money for placement on his show . What this self-professed "mentsh" really is , is a shill of big business . This guy plays golf every day . Playing golf and promoting that piece of shit is like eating ten Big Mac's , five orders of fries & washing it down with a "Diet" Coke . He only cares about the environment if it doesn't inconvenience him . Now that doesn't mean I don't think he's a funny guy, far from it , he's fuck'n hilarious . He has one of the great comedic minds of our time . Unfortunately Larry's just another actor on the take ! "How much money do these nimrods need anyhoo "? Now why am I picking on Mr. David ? I picked on him first because he's one the richest men in Hollywood and he states he's a great protector of the clean air act . When all he does is promotes "Jap Scrap" as good for the environment . It's anything but ! It's just a cash cow for him and many other celebrities . If you want an air friendly vehicle use methanol . Methanol burns clean and it's a renewable resource . That answer doesn't put a shelling in anyone's pockets , so it will be forgoten "fast" . It goes to prove you can be successful & wealthy and still be stupid ! I was watching an awards show [ I don't know which one they're all self-promoting crap anyways !] and Jack Black steps up to the podium & berates the audience that if you didn't drive a hybrid car your a piece of shit ! " I Drove Here In A Prius "! WA DA FUCK WAS THAT ? Did he get paid for that or what ? I'll give him the benefit of doubt cause I loved him in High Fidelity , "but that was just bullshit buddy"! Now that being said it puts me to the biggest promotion ."Self Promotion". Jack Black is really a funny guy but lately he's been installed in movies as a "ladies man"? Most people know Jack Black is a "Don Juan" in the same sense Paul Lynn was one ! Let's face it Jack is a gay man or at the very least highly effeminate . Sometimes he could play a nerd but that's it . It's not like he's Rock Hudson or Tom Cruise , he doesn't pass . Actors start to believe they're more than what they are , which are empty vessels . Vessels that writers thoughts can come to life . The greatest actors of our time are the emptiest . This could be dangerous as someone smarter and more sinister could fill their empty shell & use their popularity for illgotten gains. At least that is what I think otherwise how could you explain Scientology & the hold it has on some of the actors in Hollywood such as John Travolta or Tom Cruise . Tommy is one mixed up dude man ! I know he's gay , you know he's gay , he knows he's gay . Who's he fool'n ? When caught deny , deny , deny...then sue . "The Church" protects his matinee idol franchise , but it's over man . Who under 40 thinks Tom's sexy ? Nobody ! That times past man . Your old pal ! If the movie isn't a character part [Collateral] or a 200 million dollar budgeted Spielberg film , Tom just doesn't carry it anymore . Hey not even , the last four out of six bombed . Still 'The Church" shopped Tommy around last year to every young starlet in LaLa Land until they got a "taker". Man that just makes me ill ! Earth to Tom ... Tom ... TOM ... Tom Cruise ... your gay & WHO CARES ! "Go on with your career dude you could be one of the greatest actors of our time" . "Stop listening to your sister... and the voices ". "There is medication for that" . John "Revolting" is another story . I love Tarantino but I'd like to punch him in the face for resurrecting his career . I guess if you need money for a picture you'll take it from anybody , including "clay table loonies" . Scientology is one thing Kabbalah is another, this is just insane ! "Jewish Witchcraft"??? Ya gotta be kidd'n me ! Only the truly empty could fall for this shit... & Madonna is a "big-empty-hole" ! Madonna [The Hog] takes the cake . She is all that's wrong in entertainment totally void of talent & originality . She's an old time slut who got caught up in her celebrity . What happened here was Madonna grew a conscious , [a big mistake if your a bloated egomaniac] and let her guard down around con-men . Even now when these confidence men are being rounded up "The Hog" still defends them . Why ? Well because her ego can't take she'd been snowed by the oldest trick in the book "religion"! This cult has conned some of the riches stars in Hollywood Britney Spears ,Guy Richie , Demi Moore , Ashton Kushner & Roseanne Barr . How bad is it when Paris Hilton was too smart for the come on ! These others must be truly dim ! God I love being entertained , we all do , but what's more entertaining the craft or these shovelheads afterhours ? And A Ba Ba Boey Ta Ya All Wallycrawler .

Funny Thing The Motorcyclist Was The One Who Lived!
How Can We Feel Safe In Cars Built Like This . 30 Gage Metal & Plastic Will Not Protect Us . It May Give Us Better Gas Mileage ...But @ What Price ?

"Stay Asleep" !

I care about my family , friends , neighbor's & I care about our future here in North America . Since I started my blog I've only had a few negative comments & e-mails , that's great , I don't mind . I love the attention ! The funny thing though these comments all came from one post "Kill Da Damm Gophers". Hmm.. That post really wasn't about fat golfers it was a rant on the environment . Ok a little dig at an arrogant "game"but it just goes to show you what some people really care about ..."Nothing important" ! I've worked in the "corporate mines" for 5 years and I'm a pretty good salesperson , no I'm a great salesperson ! In those years I've seen a big change in the range of quality in products being sold. Also the way this shit is being sold . Remember "American Made ". It was a sign of "great pride" & "quality goods ". Now the media & stores like Wallymart & Da Depot run down our craftsmanship . The media takes aim at our products like they are diseased . Ever read a consumers report & thought "wow we make crap , what's wrong with US & Canadian made products"? Don't tell me you haven't , cause you have & I have too ! Well the truth to be told is there's nothing wrong with our products in fact most are better than anything on the market . "Bullshit I read in Good Products Magazine Blahh blahhhh & I'll never buy that stuff again "! Man I hate yuppies & I despise their propaganda mags ! What a bunch of shit heads ! I had a yuppie family come in to shop at my place of business and just for fun I bet a associate I could sell them anything with just a few trigger words . I also bet I'd get them to put everything in their cart back on the shelves and buy what I said to buy . "Mean huh". "Tough"! "I think yuppies are dolts and fast asleep" ! I wont bore you with all the triggers I use but 3 of them are "Consumer Reports Magazine " This rag is a salesperson's nightmare or his best friend .
In reality "Consumer Reports" is just a marketing magazine paid for and by larger company's to move their wares . "Consumer Reports has marked this product as a Best buy"! "What the fuck is a best buy"? "Does the thing work or not and will it last"? These are the questions you should be asking and followed closely by "are parts readily available"? " What's the warranty & how do I get service on my warranty "? Needless to say this foolish couple didn't ask any of these questions . Lucky for them I'm a honest person 1st. and a greedy salesman way down the list . The products I sold them were longer lasting , with a better warranty at roughly the same price . By the way all were made in the North America ! When I sell a customer something I want to wake them up a little bit , by showing them how & where these products are made . I'll also inform them who really makes them . If you buy DeWalt your buying Black & Decker that's a product made in south east Asia , same plant... same goods.... no better ! If you buy a Price Pfister faucet your buying a Black & Decker product made by a company called Lota , a company who has ties in child labor . This company is a cover company of Home Depot . Sick! Da Depot is one of the worst company's to work for & to buy from . In the past this company was the leader in US goods with company's like "Ridgid" a company they pulled out of the fire when Sears closed Craftsman . Great story if you know it ! Now it's just the same old story of closed factory's & lost jobs to slave labor in the far east . Company's like Home Depot & Wal-mart want you to stay asleep to buy without conscience . "WAKE UP"!!! Don't buy from box stores ! Hey I work for one. Put me out of work ! If you do buy from one watch what you buy look at labels & ask questions . I for one will love to answer you . Honestly ! If the product is made in China put it back on the shelve . "DO YOU REALLY NEED IT" ? "I didn't think so" ! Kill that urge of buying things on compulsion . Doing these little things will inform these pirates that you want quality goods & made by American's . Doing these small deeds will keep your family & friends working & living better ! Thanx Wallycrawler .

Da Puppet Will Cry !

I use to love my freedom . My freedom to grab a paper , watch TV , work , go to bed & sleep . Sounds boring eh ? Other stuff did happen during my normal day , some good and some bad but mostly mundane & I wouldn't have changed it for the world . Give me a average day and I'll show you a happy man . Lately most days haven't been so average most days have been filled with anger , rage , disbelief & contempt . Things haven't been the same in over 5 years [hmm.. What happened 5 years ago?... Guess ?] In that time my family watched my brother die of cancer , my daughter & nephew diagnosed with diabetes and my wife's father die suddenly . Bad horrible things , but things I or anyone else couldn't have changed . They were inevitable . What makes me mad are the things we , all of us , could have stopped . Iraq , the twin towers ,["yes we could have stopped that by voting in a human instead of a puppet"] and our freedom of speech . We have looked the other way during all of these events . We looked elsewhere when we should have looked within . I know the government was pointing another way! But we should have asked the right questions & searched for our own answers . During the towers I was listening to Howard Stern . He was very calming and throughout his radio cast his message was . "We will overcome this tragedy ". "We'll round up the people involved & justice will be done ". "Believe in our President"! . "He'll hunt down these guys"! "Ohhh OK "!!! "When" ??? During the WMD fiasco President Dumba pointed to Saddam as the man with an axe to grind & access to nukes . "Yaaa right" ! When Janet flashed her "ugly" tittie Dumba's stooge Michael Powell sic'd the FCC on anyone who didn't preach the "Right" agenda . And what did we do... Nothing ! We sat there watching our TV's , reading corporate newspapers , tisk tisking . "Oh what , oh what can I do ". "Well how about getting involved IDIOT"! I was really stuck at what I could do . I had no power or voice . I'm just a schmoe like you . Then I thought I do have a voice & I'm not all that retarded ! Ill protest ! Ok where ? And do I have the time ? Plus I hate the ugly bastards who show up at those event's ! Ahh fuck it ! There must be a way to show I'm alive & not amused at this bullshit . Thus this blog ! It's small but at least I have a voice . In my opinion the media is an "old town gossip" and should be treated as such . Tell it something & seconds later it's a"fact" ! The "right wing" knows this & it's about time we used it the same way . I'm a liberal democrat , [big surprise!] I'm also a socialist , I'm a conservative & I'm a "humanist" . I think we're all like that in some whey or another . A liberal at heart , "live & let live" . A socialist in education & medicine ," we all should have quality health care "! A conservative , when in a fight "win at all costs ", but pick the fights wisely . But most of all a humanist . Let me tell you what a humanist is . A humanist believes in the truth . The truth comes in all kinds of flavors but none of them taste good . The truth always smells bad and is horrific to look at . A humanists job is to expose the truth . We will be sick doing so, but it has to be done . The "news" in the last 2 weeks or so is just the tip of the iceberg with this "scumbag" & his sycophants . We'll all see how we were duped by a moron & his cronies just to steal oil , sell it at inflated prices & set in place a corporate world that's so corrupt that we'll all barf just to think about it . God bless those women & men in the military . Also bless the men, women & children that are being killed . These people are being used as pawns so Dumba can live the life of "Riley". The" fortunate son" will soon be exposed as the "Devil's son" . When truth comes to light look for "chaos" in a form of a plague . This vector is already in place & guaranty you it will be cast when he is exposed . Vice Pres. "Large" Dick , [did you see that picture of that guy what the fuck does this blob got in there a baked ham ? Too bad he can't use it !] has imposed his corrupt evil on the world. But the people will rise up and demand his resignation soon . If you thought Watergate was bad... , wait! This is our burning Rome . We have front row seats to the end of the corporate world . Don't be surprised or afraid of it's swift extinction . Just pray for it ! Sa Again Da Wallycrawler

Ever Wonder Why This Generation Hasn't Beat'n Racism ?
Me Too !

Da Thoughts Of An Asshole [Part deux]

So I was talk'n to one of the girls at work , a young thing , great ass , big titties ! The more she talked the more I was losing it . I couldn't figure out what she was "yammering" about ! Then I started daydreaming . Not about lay'n her [ok a little bit] but about I.Q. I always thought she was smart . Could I be wrong ? She did go to college, I think . When this sexy little kitten speaks are her thoughts gold or do I put more meaning into it ? I always thought she was bright now I'm not too sure & I know this person is absolutely not interesting ! Plus I'm get'n this feeling I really don't like her ! What da fuck is going on ? My wife is going to read this & smack me in the head but I have never had a bad feeling about a young chick ! I loved them all . I think I've had an epiphany "not all smoke'n hot women are good & some are boring"! Has this ever happened to you or does your interest still go up per cup size ? Just a think'n . Sa Next Time Wallycrawler

2000 Brave Men And Women Died To Keep This Soulless Lackey In The Oil Business !

Love... Lost... Life & Vacation .

Waz up ? Guess what's up with me ? I'm go'n on vacation ! YA BABY !!! Guess what else ? I'm go'n to Mexico , to Cancun , the Mayan Riviera . NICE HUH ! Guess wa else ? It's getting hit by hurricane Wilma . FUCK!!!!!!!!! "Hey Fred rein in that bitch will ya" ! I love the Caribbean ! I know everybody does . "Shut up will ya" ! As I was saying I love this spot . In the old dayz I'd go down to the Florida Keys & stay for 3 to 4 weeks in January . Every year I'd go to Marathon Key with my lady of choice sit on a beach & drink til dawn . It's so relaxing in the south . The people are great & so easy going . Unlike what goes on up here . People here are all fucked up . To busy ! To uncaring ! To blind ! They don't know what life's about . Did you ever look around you and go "WOW" ! Life is a blessing & a miracle not a thing to take for granted . Now when did I figure that one out you may ask, cause a lot people don't know that ! They say they do but they don't . At a tender age of 18 I lost my best friend in a car accident . I loved him very much ! I'm crying just thinking about it . But I didn't realize it yet . Later I lost my Grandfather & good friend . But I didn't realize yet , somewhat , but not yet . Later still I lost my brother & great friend . Now it was dawning on me . Am I Thick ??? Then my daughter was diagnosed with Diabetes . Then I knew ! Things like that happen and your eyes open wide . You see life differently . People who complain that their vacation isn't what it's suppose to be just don't GET IT ! I do get it ...now ! Life is short celebrate it & don't sweat the small stuff . Not to say a hurricane is small , God Bless these people , but it's a vacation . Hopefully everything will work out , if not I'll deal with it ! But most of all I'll pray that nobody loses their homes , their livelihood , or most importantly the lives of their loved ones . Sa Later Wallycrawler .

"EXACTLY"!!!